A lovely piece, Don. I think as long as we are at peace with who we are, and accept that, then that’s all that matters. The older I get the less I stress about what I want and am more at ease with where I am as much as who I am. A 65 year old woman, full of vitality and optimism. Living life to the full while I still can!
Great essay Don. I think that when we answer the first question, who am I?, And realize that the answer is simply being, it becomes much easier to answer the second.
Because we know there is no wrong answer. Any answer is good as another, We can answer it in any way we want to, and no one will stand in judgment of it, ever. Simply because there is no one else.
Who we are is an ever changing expression of the divine, to identify it as one thing is an insult to the multidimensional nature of us. To be human is to be in constant wonder, moment to moment piercing of the veil, shedding of skin, dying and rebirthing with the awe of a baby and wisdom of a stoic zen Christ, the emergence of this new being shall rise up with reverberating fractal magnetism that shall attract fellow students that will raise the consciousness of the planet, one restack at a time. Thanks for this Don 🌹
Brilliant piece, Don, just the right balance of guidance and mystery.
It made me think about the question in a new way, and I see a parabola. In the first half of my life, answering the question was all important and I became increasingly certain of my answer; in the second half I'm becoming increasingly uncertain of the answer and the question is losing its importance. Seeing it that way feels good. Thank you for the prompt!
Such richness in this essay, Dan. Having read it, my first thought was how it is often easier to 'work on' ourselves than to accept who we are in this moment.
Yes! Good point, Frances! And I think it often doesn't even occur to us to think of trying to see and understand what already is, who we already are, rather than who we want to become in order to prove something to the world.
We're not even comfortably familiar with our raw materials!
The good news, Don, is that the answer is in the question or perhaps another way of saying it is that the question is the answer. I have a story (of course) that I am going to share that is planned to be the introduction to my next post and for a sneak preview, here it is, an old folk tale:
High in the Himalayan mountains lived a wise old man.
A few young boys from the village decided to play a joke on the wise old man and discredit his special abilities.
The boys devised a plan.
They would catch a bird and ask the old man if the bird was dead or alive. If the wise man said the bird was alive, the boy would crush the bird in his hands, so that when he opened his hands the bird would be dead; if the wise man said the bird was dead, the boy would open his hands and let the bird fly free. So no matter what the old man said, the boys would prove the old man a fraud.
The boys walked up to the wise old man and asked, " Old man, old man, tell us, is the bird alive or is it dead?"
The wise old man looked at the boys and said, "The answer is in your hands, as you choose it to be.”
Perhaps! I’ll fudge a little (interesting phrase that) and say the meaning in life is what we give and get, the more we give, the more we get. Thus why I am enormously grateful for life as I know it.
Thanks. It's likely to be on the drawing board a little longer than first anticipated. Some things are like that, you would know. Buildings, paintings, music, essays, recipes, designs, etc. because there are peaches on the ground and on the tree that are asking for attention.
Here's are something for you to consider in your spare moments, from Julia Cameron. 1) Write a letter from you at 80 to you at your current age. What would you tell yourself? What interests would you urge yourself to pursue? What dreams would you encourage?
Lovely! When I was younger (I’m 63) “who do I want to be” was a more interesting question because it seemed there was more time to live into whatever vision I conjured. As I have fewer years left, that question becomes less compelling and “who am I” grabs me more.
It’s not a “spiritual accomplishment” (a funny phrase) but feels more like an organic development. Like a leaf turning colors rather than budding.
I will be 72 I a week! I still don’t know who I am. But do feel less inclined to worry about it and accept me in this moment. Do the things that make me happy, content. Pottering, writing and wishing I could have been more like this years ago. In fact, I may have known who I was all along but just kept striving to be someone else, when all along I was right here 🤔 and worth knowing.
Beautiful, Don. I'm at a bit of a loss for words (yes, even this fountain!). I'll just say that in those moments of presence, especially the threshold of passing from "absence" to presence (or, from identifying with a thought to letting go of it), I get a very particular feeling that is completely indescribable. I wonder if it's about the same as your feeling in that situation. I imagine so, since we are so very similar in the grand scheme of things. I find camaraderie in that, despite the fundamental unknowability. Thanks for being an awesome writer and friend.
Thank you, Mike. I appreciate someone who really knows how to pay close attention to his own mind processes! You might like Joseph Goldstein (founder of the Insight Meditation Society). He’s a very careful observer as well, and publishes some really engaging talks.
Don, You began with such a powerful question! Yes, why do anything else than what brings us peace? It only gets juicer from there. Who am I? That's truly the most powerful question we can ask, though we may never find a conceptual answer.
Don, I really enjoy just sitting with your offerings and revel in the thought journeys that launch because of them. It took me the majority of my life to chase the elusive and impossible to achieve, "who I want to be." One of my spiritual mentors is Richard Rohr who talks about living in the second half of life. The first half of life we're trying to be somebody, trying to be productive, but in the second half we are more concerned with being fruitful, where did all that productivity lead us? I've got quite the brain salad going on now, Don. Thanks for this, Don.
The continuous discovery of individuality truly happens in the solace of solitude. I wish more people would spend more time exploring these sorts of questions in states of open-mindedness, maybe then the world would be kinder and more compassionate.
Wonderful essay. We spend our whole lives asking ourselves who we are and expect the answer to be lucid, but it's not. We are a combination of multiple personalities and experiences. We are a lot more than one thing at once; we are composed of multitudes as Walt Whitman and many other phycologists and neoroscientists propose(d). We should keep asking ourselves questions as such and not be disappointed by the lack of answers. We should be inspired to discover and progress. Lovely piece!
Something brought me to this essay this morning. I didn’t realize how much I needed these words. Something in me did. Thank you, Don. This really moved me.
For me, having (or looking for/insisting on) answers usually means I am holding too much fear. Truth feels different. It's expansive and usually quieter. Less words are attached to it. Not as noisy as "having the answer." I suppose who I am is the truth of me. Chasing the question: who do I want to be feels more forced or frantic or incessant.
I’m thrilled, Allison! 😊 I love that feeling when you read exactly what you need to read, without even struggling to find it. As you say, it just comes to you. I think such synchronicity simply means you’re on the right path for you.
Thank you for subscribing. So very nice to meet you! 🙏💚
So happy to be here, Don. And yes - synchronicity often feels meant to be.
On another note, are you a resident of MA - or were you just visiting happy Cape Cod? I live in Sharon, MA and grew up on the south shore of Massachusetts.
I live in Hyannis. I grew up in Taunton, so we are surely neighbors! Many years ago, I worked at the Grossman’s on Rt. 1 in Sharon (or maybe it was Walpole), and during lunch I would take walks at Moose Hill. Such a beautiful natural area!
Ah, what a small world! Yes, that area is right at the intersection of Walpole and Sharon. My home abuts the trails that lead to Moose Hill. My dog and I wander there daily.
A lovely piece, Don. I think as long as we are at peace with who we are, and accept that, then that’s all that matters. The older I get the less I stress about what I want and am more at ease with where I am as much as who I am. A 65 year old woman, full of vitality and optimism. Living life to the full while I still can!
It’s always nice to hear from someone older than me ha ha!
Thanks, Rosy. Your note is very inspiring, and I appreciate it. 🙏💚
Great essay Don. I think that when we answer the first question, who am I?, And realize that the answer is simply being, it becomes much easier to answer the second.
Because we know there is no wrong answer. Any answer is good as another, We can answer it in any way we want to, and no one will stand in judgment of it, ever. Simply because there is no one else.
I think you’re right, Aaron. We are all part of one “being.” 💚🩷
Who we are is an ever changing expression of the divine, to identify it as one thing is an insult to the multidimensional nature of us. To be human is to be in constant wonder, moment to moment piercing of the veil, shedding of skin, dying and rebirthing with the awe of a baby and wisdom of a stoic zen Christ, the emergence of this new being shall rise up with reverberating fractal magnetism that shall attract fellow students that will raise the consciousness of the planet, one restack at a time. Thanks for this Don 🌹
beautiful, Paolo, thank you! ⭐️🌈
Brilliant piece, Don, just the right balance of guidance and mystery.
It made me think about the question in a new way, and I see a parabola. In the first half of my life, answering the question was all important and I became increasingly certain of my answer; in the second half I'm becoming increasingly uncertain of the answer and the question is losing its importance. Seeing it that way feels good. Thank you for the prompt!
Yeah, I guess that’s true of me, too. Oh, the blessing of getting old! 😇
Such richness in this essay, Dan. Having read it, my first thought was how it is often easier to 'work on' ourselves than to accept who we are in this moment.
Yes! Good point, Frances! And I think it often doesn't even occur to us to think of trying to see and understand what already is, who we already are, rather than who we want to become in order to prove something to the world.
We're not even comfortably familiar with our raw materials!
Thanks, Frances! 🙏💚
The good news, Don, is that the answer is in the question or perhaps another way of saying it is that the question is the answer. I have a story (of course) that I am going to share that is planned to be the introduction to my next post and for a sneak preview, here it is, an old folk tale:
High in the Himalayan mountains lived a wise old man.
A few young boys from the village decided to play a joke on the wise old man and discredit his special abilities.
The boys devised a plan.
They would catch a bird and ask the old man if the bird was dead or alive. If the wise man said the bird was alive, the boy would crush the bird in his hands, so that when he opened his hands the bird would be dead; if the wise man said the bird was dead, the boy would open his hands and let the bird fly free. So no matter what the old man said, the boys would prove the old man a fraud.
The boys walked up to the wise old man and asked, " Old man, old man, tell us, is the bird alive or is it dead?"
The wise old man looked at the boys and said, "The answer is in your hands, as you choose it to be.”
Thanks for that great story, Gary. I guess that would correlate to the saying, "The only meaning in life is the meaning you give it." Yes?
Perhaps! I’ll fudge a little (interesting phrase that) and say the meaning in life is what we give and get, the more we give, the more we get. Thus why I am enormously grateful for life as I know it.
Well, I’m looking forward to reading your post, Gary!
Thanks. It's likely to be on the drawing board a little longer than first anticipated. Some things are like that, you would know. Buildings, paintings, music, essays, recipes, designs, etc. because there are peaches on the ground and on the tree that are asking for attention.
Here's are something for you to consider in your spare moments, from Julia Cameron. 1) Write a letter from you at 80 to you at your current age. What would you tell yourself? What interests would you urge yourself to pursue? What dreams would you encourage?
Thanks, Gary. I’ll put that under my hat! 🎩
Lovely! When I was younger (I’m 63) “who do I want to be” was a more interesting question because it seemed there was more time to live into whatever vision I conjured. As I have fewer years left, that question becomes less compelling and “who am I” grabs me more.
It’s not a “spiritual accomplishment” (a funny phrase) but feels more like an organic development. Like a leaf turning colors rather than budding.
Thanks, Dan, and nice to hear from you! Are you saying you're in the Autumn of your life lol? 😁
Yes! Though winter is fast approaching. 😊
I turn 60 September 1. I’ve decided that this is the point at which I am “done with the drama.” What a great rest of my life I’m going to have!
I will be 72 I a week! I still don’t know who I am. But do feel less inclined to worry about it and accept me in this moment. Do the things that make me happy, content. Pottering, writing and wishing I could have been more like this years ago. In fact, I may have known who I was all along but just kept striving to be someone else, when all along I was right here 🤔 and worth knowing.
Yeah, this whole self-identity thing is a life-long struggle, isn't it? I empathize with you, Valerie!
Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it. 🙏💚
Beautiful, Don. I'm at a bit of a loss for words (yes, even this fountain!). I'll just say that in those moments of presence, especially the threshold of passing from "absence" to presence (or, from identifying with a thought to letting go of it), I get a very particular feeling that is completely indescribable. I wonder if it's about the same as your feeling in that situation. I imagine so, since we are so very similar in the grand scheme of things. I find camaraderie in that, despite the fundamental unknowability. Thanks for being an awesome writer and friend.
Thank you, Mike. I appreciate someone who really knows how to pay close attention to his own mind processes! You might like Joseph Goldstein (founder of the Insight Meditation Society). He’s a very careful observer as well, and publishes some really engaging talks.
Thanks so much for being here, my friend!
Yes, I’ve listened to a talk or two by him and done some of his guided meditations. Great mind!
Don, You began with such a powerful question! Yes, why do anything else than what brings us peace? It only gets juicer from there. Who am I? That's truly the most powerful question we can ask, though we may never find a conceptual answer.
Thank you, Sandra. I’m so glad you liked it and I’m glad you’re here! 🙏💚
Beautiful. Thank your to sharing this.
Thank you, Allen 🙏💚
Don, I really enjoy just sitting with your offerings and revel in the thought journeys that launch because of them. It took me the majority of my life to chase the elusive and impossible to achieve, "who I want to be." One of my spiritual mentors is Richard Rohr who talks about living in the second half of life. The first half of life we're trying to be somebody, trying to be productive, but in the second half we are more concerned with being fruitful, where did all that productivity lead us? I've got quite the brain salad going on now, Don. Thanks for this, Don.
Steve, that’s an incredible compliment. Thank you! 🙏😊
Great piece!
The continuous discovery of individuality truly happens in the solace of solitude. I wish more people would spend more time exploring these sorts of questions in states of open-mindedness, maybe then the world would be kinder and more compassionate.
Maybe, Philip, maybe…
Thank you for adding your kindness, I guess that’s all we can do
Wonderful essay. We spend our whole lives asking ourselves who we are and expect the answer to be lucid, but it's not. We are a combination of multiple personalities and experiences. We are a lot more than one thing at once; we are composed of multitudes as Walt Whitman and many other phycologists and neoroscientists propose(d). We should keep asking ourselves questions as such and not be disappointed by the lack of answers. We should be inspired to discover and progress. Lovely piece!
Thank you, Ayesha. It sounds like you have a good handle on things! 😊🙏
You're kind. I'm just learning as I go like everyone else
This is fantastic; most especially, I absolutely love the last paragraph. Thanks for a powerful, wonderful read!!!
Thank you, Boon. I’m so glad you like it! 🙏🙂
Something brought me to this essay this morning. I didn’t realize how much I needed these words. Something in me did. Thank you, Don. This really moved me.
For me, having (or looking for/insisting on) answers usually means I am holding too much fear. Truth feels different. It's expansive and usually quieter. Less words are attached to it. Not as noisy as "having the answer." I suppose who I am is the truth of me. Chasing the question: who do I want to be feels more forced or frantic or incessant.
I am who I am. 🙏🏼
I’m thrilled, Allison! 😊 I love that feeling when you read exactly what you need to read, without even struggling to find it. As you say, it just comes to you. I think such synchronicity simply means you’re on the right path for you.
Thank you for subscribing. So very nice to meet you! 🙏💚
So happy to be here, Don. And yes - synchronicity often feels meant to be.
On another note, are you a resident of MA - or were you just visiting happy Cape Cod? I live in Sharon, MA and grew up on the south shore of Massachusetts.
Oh, BTW, have you checked out Sober Soulful by Dana Leigh Lyons? I recommend! She's a very smart and sensitive writer. 🙂
YES!!!!! I don't miss anything posted by Dana. She is such a talented writer and gift to us all.
I live in Hyannis. I grew up in Taunton, so we are surely neighbors! Many years ago, I worked at the Grossman’s on Rt. 1 in Sharon (or maybe it was Walpole), and during lunch I would take walks at Moose Hill. Such a beautiful natural area!
Ah, what a small world! Yes, that area is right at the intersection of Walpole and Sharon. My home abuts the trails that lead to Moose Hill. My dog and I wander there daily.
So hi neighbor!!!
Wow, that must be so nice! So nice to meet you, Allison!
Same! A pleasure to find you here, Don.