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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

I remember when I first got into mindfulness, I devoured every book I could find. I was like a kid in a candy store, thinking that if I just read enough, I'd instantly achieve enlightenment. But then, I realized I was spending more time reading about life than actually living it. It was like studying maps instead of going on a hike. I eventually had to put the books down and step outside, quite literally. It was messy, it was unpredictable, but it was real. And that's where the actual learning began. Your analogy of moving from the classroom to an internship is spot on. Sometimes, you just have to get your hands dirty.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Righto Alexander! Just curious, did you stop reading completely or do you still dip in? 🙏

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Oh, I'm always reading. I can't help myself. But I do prefer to get "practice" whenever possible on something, if I can.

I really thing that one of my only true talents in this lifetime is learning. I don't think that is me diminishing myself, by the way. So many people would disagree, but I think I'm really good at knowledge acquisition... by way of reading, listening, and doing. But I'm not necessarily a master at much :) Haha!

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Don Boivin's avatar

Lol, when you say, "I'm always reading. I can't help myself." that's me, too! I rarely get in my car to go anywhere without being sure I have my book along. 😊

And in regards to learning; my wife likes to joke about how I'll pick any hobby or skill, take out a bunch of books from the library, and jump in.

Ever tried soap-making, Alex? That's a fun one you can do right in your kitchen!

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Danni Levy's avatar

Don, I love this. Not only for the insight, but how it confirms that after years of practice/study/confusion/torment it arrives in a flash. A micro second. Yes! This! And yes, our 'teachers', gurus, favorite author and books, and everything we experience are facilitators - not our teachers. Our own life is our only teacher. And as we learn, we become facilitators for others. It is really a beautiful, spectacular thing. Growth is limitless and it begins and ends with us. Thank you Don. You are a wonderful faciltator for me, and I like to believe, new friend. 💛

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Danni. Friends sounds great to me! 😊💚

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Ed Sayer's avatar

One of your most meaningful posts to me Don. Reminds me of the poem:

Relying upon a finger, we see the moon

Relying upon the moon, we understand the finger.

Moon and finger

Are neither the same nor different.

This expedient analogy is for guiding beginners.

Having seen reality as it is,

There is neither moon nor finger.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Ed. I always love to hear from you. I believe I've come across that poem. Who is the author?

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Ed Sayer's avatar

Ryokan

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Gail Sawyer's avatar

“That means stripping it all down to two things: Me, and What Is.”

Twenty-seven years ago, shortly after moving back to my home state of Maine, I went to a woman who practiced kinesiology. It was my first intro into the energy arts. After the session she handed me two slips of paper. One of which I have memorized and still remind myself of often;

“Everything that happens to you is your teacher. The secret is to learn to sit at the feet of your own life and be taught by it.”—Polly Berrien Berends

I’d never heard of this person/author, but this little gem on that piece of paper still graces the top center of a full length mirror in my bedroom. And it’s what inspired the moniker to my Substack—Sitting At My Own Feet

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Don Boivin's avatar

Wow, Gail, that is quite profound, and you knew it from the start. Twenty-seven years! Thank you for sharing that quote with me. 🙏💚

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Gail Sawyer's avatar

Thank you!—For the reminders. Your words always helps to jog some long ago memories.

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Davor Katusic's avatar

I, like you, found myself in a phase where I realized that reading can sometimes be more of a distraction than a benefit. I even dedicated a post to it — just like you did. I came to see that the best teacher is the present moment, or reality itself. Books can help us when we drift off course or lose awareness, but everything we truly need is always right here and now, wherever we are.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Davor. I remember your post. We are of like minds! 😊

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Davor Katusic's avatar

It seems so, Don:)

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Heather's avatar

“The fascinating thing about what is is that it’s right in front of us all the time, and yet we so often miss it altogether”

I know, right? I’m just starting to grapple with that. Still in the needing human teachers phase myself, but recognizing this is significant for me. What’s also landing hard right now is that it’s also possible (probable even!) to miss altogether how we feel about what is and what we think about what is.

I love that you’ve graduated teachers by the way - it does feel like a… hmmm, any colloquialism automatically misses the point… anyway, it feels significant. It feels good.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Heather. Please have a lovely day! 🙏💚

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Vipul Bhesania's avatar

“the books are no longer my primary teacher; the world and my life are” - love this Don. I’ve also found along my journey in recent years that books feel “noisier” than they once did. I feel there a cycles and seasons for when to increase input and when to listen to that voice within

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Vipul. So good to hear from you! I think you're right about cycles and seasons, and that's very tao of you to recognize. 🙏💚

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Beth Koenig's avatar

Love this post, thank you for sharing. Exactly what I needed to read right now. Now, I shall step away from the screen and the words and observe what is within and outside of me….

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Don Boivin's avatar

Then I will say thank you quickly, before you step away! I always love to hear that an essay hits at the right time; so rewarding for me!! 🙏💚

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Gay's avatar

What a great essay! It hits the mark for me.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Gay. And I just saw that you became a paid subscriber. So wonderful! I’m incredibly grateful. 🙏🙏

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Jules's avatar

Gently put, Don, thankyou. Our lives have become so complicated. I yearn for simplicity.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Jules. 🙏🏼💚

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

Don, I find it extremely interesting how close my path intertwines with yours. Time after time you put into words my recent thoughts. Together we walk. D

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Don Boivin's avatar

That's fascinating, Dave. Yes, together we walk!

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Caroline Nolan's avatar

Beautiful, thank you

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Caroline! 🙏💚

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Daniel Appleton's avatar

It's been my experience that ANYONE OR ANYTHING can teach, even if it's NOT always a saint, sage or " holy person " or even if the person ISN'T a positive role model. Teachers needn't be paragons of squeaky clean " goodie - 2 - shoes " morality, although it helps ( couldn't HURT..... ).

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Don Boivin's avatar

So true, Daniel, thank you! 🙏💚

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Maia Duerr's avatar

What a great piece, Don! You have such a wonderful conversational voice which helps to make complex concepts feel down-to-earth. I feel like when I read your writing, I get a glimpse of what true contentment is like. I know you're not in that rarified space all the time, as a fellow human being! But you offer encouragement that it's possible and the tools that helps us get there.

The role of 'teachers' is interesting to me. I do believe they still have something to offer, but as I get older and deeper in my practice, I notice it's not so much about the content they deliver (to use a crass phrase), but more about the relationship I have with them. The teachings unfold in the context of a relationship in ways I could never imagine and that go far beyond any spoken words.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Maia, thank you! I always love hearing from you. Thanks for your comment on my conversational voice; I was just thinking that I can thank my ignorance of Buddhist scholarship, parables, and vocabulary for that. I mean, I was actually thinking yesterday that this idea of allowing ‘what is’ to be the teacher surely has a comparable Buddhist teaching (for example, leaving the raft behind). Too, I think that a teaching only really means something when you “get” it for yourself, rather than “study” it (though studying comes first); as when I read the words “students of what is,” and had this sudden powerful insight that when I’m truly living the teachings, I’m not thinking about them. I’m actually thinking my next essay may be on this. Possible title: “I Don’t Want to Think about God” haha.

I admire that you have a relationship with (specific?) teachers such that words aren’t necessary. I’ve not had a real live teacher that I can place in that category 😔

Thanks again, Maia. Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈

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Maia Duerr's avatar

Yes, specific teachers, Roshi Joan Halifax and Victoria Shosan Austin at San Francisco Zen Center. I've known each of them for more than 25 years now! I guess you can think about it like how any long term relationship influences us and transforms us, if we're willing to stay in the container of relationship and not jump out when things make us unhappy or uncomfortable (dukkha!). Then there's the added dimension of working with things using Dharma teachings as the base. I remember the year I lived at SFZC and watching how people cared for one another, how everyone responded to the death of a resident in the building, how the food was prepared, how work was offered in the context of practice, and so much more. It did change me on a kind of fundamental level. I'm not saying that those relationships or communities are perfect, of course nothing is with us humans! But the container of practice and relationships is a powerful one, at least for me. It goes a long way to translate esoteric teachings into everyday practices of care.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

I agree with you completely, our life is our path and our opportunity for transformation. Books are great supports, but ultimately they can't liberate us. Tibetan Buddhism speaks of four teachers. Life circumstances are one of them. Until we let go of our egos, though, we might need real teachers to give us a gentle slap. :-) You've interpreted "what is" differently than I would have, but it works in this context. Thanks for another intriguing article.

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Don Boivin's avatar

For sure. I was talking about this with a friend last night. He said, "Scholarship isn't a bad thing." Of course it isn't! Without it I wouldn't have all those wonderful wise books to read!

Thank you, Sandra. 🙏💚

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Jimmy Warden's avatar

Thanks for sharing, Don.

This is another beautiful reminder for me that the most important resource and research is our practice.

Two of my mentors have told me that.

It's still sinking in😂

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Don Boivin's avatar

I like to believe that the most important lessons in my life will continue to make themselves known to me until I can no longer forget them. Thanks, Jimmy!

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