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Gail Sawyer's avatar

When you were writing about the chair, I was reminded of the workbook portion in the book A Course In Miracles. One of the first lessons was, “It is only I that gives meaning to that which I see.”

Although I’ve only dabbled in the ACIM book off and on over the years, that one lesson has always stood out for me. And when I am finding myself perplexed over things around me, I pull that part of my mind back to that lesson and become calmer.

Good essay, I always love these deep topics.

I feel there are many ways to meditate. I’ve tried sitting in a group meditation, but my friends tell me I snore.

My form of meditating and being no self is when I’m gardening or creating art.

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Don Boivin's avatar

I’ve never read A Course in Miracles. Though I know little about it, I’ve always suspected it was a little “culty.” But at the same time, these ways of looking at reality can show up anywhere, and wake you up. That’s really great that you’ve retained that lesson. Realizing that we give meaning to what we see, that what is is not necessarily what we’ve interpreted, is a powerful change in perspective.

Thank you, Gail!

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Gail Sawyer's avatar

It really is a hard book to read. I’ve dabbled in it off and on since I got sober in 1995.

I cherry-pick when it comes to books like that, I take what I need or fits at the time and leave the rest.

Oh, and one more from the ACIM that I carry inside me;

“What is a Miracle but a shift in perception.”

I can’t tell you how many times in a day when I reach a point (especially these days lately), where I ask, “How May I see this in a different Light?”

Try it, then make note of it. I am always amazed at how quick the response comes.

🫶🏼

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Don Boivin's avatar

That’s a helpful way of seeing or perceiving, thanks, Gail!

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Pamela Leavey's avatar

Don, I will just chime in here and say, ACIM is not at all culty. Cults have leaders, ACIM does not have a leader. There are various teachers of ACIM, the best known being Marianne Williamson, who is definitely not a cult leader. I've been studying it since the early 90's and had the pleasure of studying with it's first teacher Tara Singh, who was a friend and student of J. Krishnamurti.

I would recommend Marianne's first book, A Return to Love, as a starting point if you are interesting in finding out more about ACIM. It is a good primer on what the premise of ACIM is and how the teachings work. As Gail said, ACIM is a hard book to read.

ACIM and Buddhism come together neatly and have quite similar messages.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Pamela. I will keep my mind open! 🙏😊

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Pamela Leavey's avatar

Gail, I use a lot of lessons from ACIM for meditation.

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Tania Tyler 🌿's avatar

I had the same thought Gail! I too only dabbled but that was one statement I recall for a little grounding when needed.

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Jenine Baines's avatar

Gail, I'm on my third year of A Course in Miracles and you are absolutely right. Studying right now online with Marianne Williamson - both the text and workbook. She's an amazing teacher. And ACIM is MY journey for life.

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Davor Katusic's avatar

It turns out that everything is actually an agreed-upon story, a game we’ve decided to play to feel safer and ensure our survival for as long as possible. Of course, it’s not a conspiracy, because we’re not aware of it—it’s simply a self-deceptive game that includes the idea that you’re Don, and I’m Davor. Or are you not, after all? :)

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Don Boivin's avatar

Yes, and becoming aware of the game… does it necessarily help? I think maybe it does in times of emotional upheaval, if we can remember. It can be calming to remember that that feeling of desperation or fear is only coming because of our belief that we must defend the existence of this cloud/rainbow called self.

Thanks, Davor. Really appreciate you! 🙏💚

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Davor Katusic's avatar

I think that being aware of that is the best we can do.

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Sonaakshi's avatar

Love, love this one. Such deep thoughts yet expressed with so much beauty and simplicity. It's so true that "the idea of no self" is a complex concept to grasp and takes years of exploration, introspection, and perhaps meditation to experience this feeling of 'no self'.

As humans with flesh and body, we can't completely deny our existence by saying there is no self but need to find that balance, the sweet spot, where we experience all the humanly stuff, this life as it is, with an awareness that this idea of'self' is only because of our thoughts and experiences.

I have been meditating for years now, but there is only one time that I experienced the 'emptiness' as you described, as I felt my body slowly fading away into an abyss. I felt weird at first but then felt the kind of peace that I always long for. I loved how these thoughts began after your meditation session...that's the best way to dig deep into our mind for profound insights. Thanks for writing this!

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Sonaakshi. And I hope I always remember to avoid presenting any experience of awareness of the true nature of self as something to “achieve,” as something that “I” have obtained and “you” haven’t but can if you only try hard enough, or get lucky, or put the right ingredients together. It’s not like that at all!

Life and the experience of life is not a secret. It’s what is, right here right now, for everyone to experience. All it takes is slowing down and being present. But you know all this 😊

Thank you so much for always being here, Sonaakshi. I truly appreciate you! 🙏💚

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Sonaakshi's avatar

I agree with you... I can't even say that two people would experience an altered state, that 'emptiness' in a similar way (or that everyone should even try to experience it). Life is happening right here, right now with or without us trying to experience something. All we need is to be more present, as you said. I'm glad to be here. Thank you!

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Sonaakshi. 😊

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Audhdpainter's avatar

Beautifully put

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Audhd. 🙏💚

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Kelly Flanagan's avatar

I'm reading Sapiens, and one of the themes is the unique human capacity to create organizing myths around which humans can cooperate. Intersubjective realities. Countries, corporations, currency. So, I've been seeing myths everywhere, but I hadn't seen it in our personal names until I read this piece of yours, and there is something freeing in it. Very, very freeing. Thank you, Don!

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Don Boivin's avatar

Ooh, good point, Kelly. I read Sapiens, and that chapter was my biggest takeaway. I guess it would be for any writer!

Thanks so much, Kelly! I hope you have a wonderful day, my friend 🙏🌈

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

Don, Well done, my friend. Well done! D

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Dave! 🙏💚

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Malcolm J McKinney's avatar

You got me going Don.

Language: words as triggers.

Words are things that trigger responses.

If I say "food," I may not have anything more in mind than an announcement.

You provide the context, and hopefully, it will include much of mine. Or, suprise!

All our senses are similarly triggers.

Meditation is the art of minimizing or letting go of verbal triggers in favor of non-verbal. As a former band mate would say, "Shadduppa u face!"

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Damon Mitchell's avatar

Yes. Illusions are real too. Pretending like they're insignificant because they're illusions is a ridiculous claim.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks for reading, Damon!

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Yannis Helios's avatar

Sometimes, even our name is superficial. We need it to identify ourselves as someone who exists,

my dog is called Booby, but it can live without it.

We can live without our names. They are not as important as we think.

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Don Boivin's avatar

We could live without our names for sure. Or we could have existed in a culture that gives people new names as they grow and change.

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Yannis Helios's avatar

That's interesting.

Must be a very advanced society.

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Lovely as always, Don. One of my greatest revelations and understandings was that all the things we learn about the material world, and all the names we have for things, are just what we made up. I found it so freeing. 💙

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Don Boivin's avatar

Yes, it’s a subtle shift in perspective, because on the one hand it seems so obvious, and yet it isn’t, and verbalizing or recognizing that can be so liberating! Thanks, Amanda!

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Tamy Faierman M.D.'s avatar

Thank you for the reflection, Don. Your beautiful and graspable interpretation of the profound Buddhist principle of no-self. This is the hardest one for Westerners to grasp. I began experiencing it in my first silent retreat several years ago. I find this concept to be true and liberating.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Tamy! 🙏💚

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Mohika Mudgal's avatar

I really enjoyed reading this Don. Packed with nuggets & really well articulated essay. Your description of the self as "fresh and new every time a neuron fires" made me go "aaah, I see!" Sending you my love & gratitude 🙏🧡

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Don Boivin's avatar

Ooh, I love it, Mohika. “Aaah, I see!” is a writer’s dream response lol! Thank you, my friend. 🙏💚

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Kate Brook's avatar

Don, you are so good at expressing esoteric ideas simply and unpretentiously. This post is very resonant for me because I think about this a lot! I feel like experiencing the absence of self is the way to make peace with our mortality. Most of my understanding of it is completely theoretical, but I would love to reach a place where I feel like there is no great tragedy in one day ceasing to be ‘me’ (which is of course different to ceasing to be, full stop).

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Kate. You say your understanding is theoretical and yet the way you phrase your understanding makes me respond with, “Ah, yes, that’s it! As simple as that!”

So appreciate you, Kate! 🙏💚

Did you take the bookstore position?

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Kate Brook's avatar

Oh I'm glad to hear it! And yes I did, though I have yet to start or find out my schedule. I think I am going to really enjoy it... once I get past the initial awkwardness of being the newbie!

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Akanksha Priyadarshini's avatar

I’ve always wondered about the concept of 'No-self' ever since I read Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance. But I couldn’t quite understand it.

Your perspective has given me something to think about, Don. Thank you for that. I especially appreciate how you’ve acknowledged that 'Non-self is an experience that takes attention and nuance to grasp, not an idea to imperiously dump on someone else.'

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Akanksha.

I’ve read so many mindfulness authors—Thich Nhat Hanh, Joseph Goldstein, Pema Chodron, Ajahn Chah—but for some reason I have yet to read Tara Brach. Maybe it’s time! 😊

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

It’s the first time I’ve listened to one of your audios. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I caught snatches of that New England accent (which I no longer have) and it reminded me of growing up. (I lived just outside Boston for a time).

You’ve discussed such a complex topic this evening, wow. Is it all really there? Or is it not there? A chair is not a chair…… my mind can reel if I allow it. I applaud you for delving deeply into this concept.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Haha, I noticed my accent coming out while recording, too! Normally I try to speak without it but when I’m tired it comes out.

Thank you for listening, Teyani. I hope you have a wonderful day! 🌈

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

Well, it brought a large smile to me!

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Don Boivin's avatar

My wife feels the same way (she's from NJ). 😀

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Aussie Jo's avatar

Well this was a thought provoking and deep seeded post well it was for me, I have found lately that sitting in my computer chair with my eyes closed and in silence is when I feel most relaxed this is when I meditate. I am Jo-Anne and Jo-Anne is a body of many layers and people often don't see all those layers only the ones they choose to see or I choose to show

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Don Boivin's avatar

Ah, you do meditate! In your office chair. Sometimes I’ll just stop what I’m doing and do nothing, even if only for sixty seconds, just to know that I have a handle on the busyness, and to sort of do a small reset.

Good on you, Jo!

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