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Craig Slater's avatar

Don,

This is delightful. Thank you for sharing this. I am continually amazed by how much of your life sounds like pieces of my life. I seem to remember you saying something similar about my life and yours.

Anyway, I love how this essay starts out being about birds, also a passion of mine, and ends up being about so much more. Thanks again. Reading this was a wonderful way to begin my day.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Craig, I'm really glad you liked it. Last night as I was recording the voiceover, I got nervous that I said too many negative things about my family. But hey, it's what came up, and that's what families do; drive you nuts and leave you scarred for life haha!

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Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

This piece? A rare bird in itself. Not just for the swallow-tailed kite cameo, but for how it quietly dismantles the shrine of “keep to yourself” conditioning so many of us were raised inside. You didn’t just email a radio station. You broke a generational hex. You cracked open a cage most folks never even notice they’re in.

And let’s talk about that art bus. You’re driving more than supplies. You’re driving sacred disruption on wheels. The kind of holy weirdness the world desperately needs.

Keep looking up, Don. The sky remembers who you are, even when the family tree forgets.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Aleksander, for seeing me.

That’s a great name for a Substack, by the way: “Holy Weirdness”! 😄

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Davor Katusic's avatar

I read your piece this Tuesday, right on schedule :) and I truly enjoyed it. I think we all carry some kind of weight we've inherited from our parents. Many times I've thought to myself how pleased I am with how I turned out—despite them. To be clear, they were wonderful and did the best they could for me. It's true they were conservative and closed-off, it seems, much like yours.

But look—you can see that in their genes they still planted the seeds of curiosity, exploration, art, compassion, and the drive to be a good person.

You turned out great, Don.

It's wonderful that you had enough wisdom not to mess it up—and to become the person you are today. Lucky you, and those around you;)

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Davor. As I was recording this piece last night, I began to worry that I said too many negative things about my family. We are still involved in each other's lives; I visit my parents often (they live one hour away), support my twin sister, can't remember the names of all the babies that keep popping into the world, and I think both my parents have become so sweet and loving in their dotage!

I really appreciate your reading, Davor, right on schedule haha!

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Davor Katusic's avatar

;) May I ask you what is your experience with recordings. I mean, I never listen to them, but, what do you think, do they bring you some reach, or some additional impressions? Btw, it seems like you are non-stop active on Substack:)

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Don Boivin's avatar

Adding this: I myself don’t listen to books on tape, but so many people do. I don’t usually listen to recorded essays either. I prefer to read. I’m not one of those people with a pod in my ear. But my own habits don’t necessarily represent the most common habits.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Is that last sentence a compliment or a criticism ha ha! 🤣

Your question is a very good one. I once asked another substacker, who records his poetry, how much the recordings increase his readership. Or maybe I asked what percentage of his readers prefer to listen rather than read. I think I remember he estimated 7 to 10%.

Of course that’s just one guy. But the reason I asked was because I was getting very little feedback from my own readers. (I was recording all of my essays for a few months last year.) Sure, I got the occasional compliment on my “soothing voice.” But I was getting this feeling that it was more work than it was worth. When I stopped, no one complained. This is the first recording I’ve done in quite a while.

All to say that I’m not really sure how much it helps. I would think that if people really loved it, I would hear about it more.

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Daniel Appleton's avatar

I like original unique ideas in various disciplines. doing things "the way grandma & grandpa did " doesn't always make sense " ! Birds provide very good imagery from hummingbirds to Falcons & the not - so - mighty American Eagles.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Daniel. Thank you so much for reading. It’s always great to hear from you!

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Don, It's beautiful that you have come to such a sense of satisfaction in your life. Right on!

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Sandra. 🙏 I hope you’re doing well. 💚

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Lilith + Eve's avatar

This really resonated. Thanks for writing it, for looking up and for being you 🙏

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Lilith. 🙏💚

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TheUltraContemplative's avatar

Tell me how important it is to notice the world without telling me to notice the world. This is great, Don. Great story about the swallow-tailed kite and how you found out that it is a kite. I'm sure that a lot of us in our generation were raised under the thought that children should be seen not heard. Don, like you, I'm glad we didn't stay under umbrella and ventured into the world of curiosity. Like you, I don't like staying at my assigned table, too boring, there's so much more out there. Thanks for this, Don.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Ah, Steve, I love your comments. So astute, and obviously coming from another true observer of life and a real writer. Thank you.🙏🏼💚

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Gail Sawyer's avatar

We could have grown up in the same “kids should be seen and not heard” household.

I too was a bookworm, and painfully shy—until I reached 15 and got in with the “more outgoing” kids who drank and later got into smoking pot and doing other recreational drugs. This back in the Hippie era… but I digress.

My mom a devout-ish Catholic and my dad an exuberant hedonist, mostly stuck to themselves also. My 3 brothers and I grew up on a hog farm.

But I have to say I wouldn’t trade any of it as it helped shaped me into who and what I am today. And—I can change my story any time I wish. 😉

I’m also an avid bird lover and all I could think of with your sighting of these marvelous birds was, we’ll probably start seeing a lot more warmer clime birds, animals and bugs, well, because climate change.

PS… I’ve gotten a lot better at getting out of my comfort zone, but still don’t like asking for help much.

I Always like reading your essays. ☮️💟

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Gail, for reading, for relating, and for being here. 🙏💚

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Ian Haycroft's avatar

Thanks Don. Damn you are a beautiful writer!!!! Bless you mate....and bless the Kites. 🙏🏼

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Don Boivin's avatar

Aw, that is so nice, so flattering, thank you, Ian! 🙏💚

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Ian Haycroft's avatar

It's not flattery when it is true you know Don.🙂

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Jeanine Kitchel's avatar

Your Uncle Donald sounded like quite a guy. Maybe he Was your namesake.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Jeanine. Yeah, maybe he was! 💚

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Nan Tepper's avatar

So lovely! And yes, it's a big deal to call the radio station if that's your experience. As I was reading this, I said to myself, "this is why I love writers. I love writers because we're a curious breed." You noticed, you inquired of the right people to provide an answer, and you integrated your experience, and found validation in your actions. That's a beautiful, self-loving thing. And reconnected with soul-kin. SO great! xo

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Don Boivin's avatar

Ah, thank you so much, Nan. That’s a real writer-to-writer compliment! 🙏💚

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Aussie Jo's avatar

When it comes to social interaction you could have been talking about my family, my parents didn't have friends they hung out with it just wasn't their thing.

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Don Boivin's avatar

It’s a shame, because socializing and a supportive social circle is such an important thing.

Thanks for sharing, Jo! 🙏💚

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Dave Karpowicz's avatar

Don, Well done. D

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Dave! 🙏

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Noreen G's avatar

This prompted some memories. Thanks Don - a wonderful piece.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Noreen! 🙏💚

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Maia Duerr's avatar

What a sweet essay, Don. I enjoyed reading about your family dynamics and your contemplations on the ways we may resist being like our parents or embrace it. And I loved reading about your great uncle Donald. I don't know, yeah the present moment is important and all that, but maybe you need to wrestle a bear too ; )

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Don Boivin's avatar

Ha ha, or at least get my picture taken fake wrestling a bear for my progeny to wonder about. Thanks, Maia!

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

What a fun essay, Don! So much I could relate to in what you shared, especially about my family of origin not really approving of my younger brother and me "stepping outside" of what was expected, ordinary, or acceptable/appropriate.

It was my dad and maternal grandfather who told me, when I said I wanted to grow up and be a published author (I was ten at the time), "Artists don't make any money. Pick something you can support yourself doing." And then, when I was accepted into the school counseling program for my Masters degree, my grandpa said, "You won't make any money doing that."

The thing is, I wasn't going into this for money. Sure, I wanted to make enough to pay bills and have a comfortable life, but "making money" was never, ever my ultimate goal. Still isn't. I never wanted to be saddled with an onerous job I hated just to "make money." Instead, I'd rather do something I love--and am good at doing!--while earning a modest income and living frugally. That's pretty much how my life ended up, with my husband as primary wage earner and me with the supplemental income to support our five tiny humans.

Also, I have always been highly sensitive, too, and I was the one out of my friend group who remained a virgin (technically, not counting the digital rape and rape that happened me in my adolescence) until I was 27!

The fact that you reached out to find out about this bird made me smile. Those little gestures outside of our comfort zone really add up, don't they? They boost one's confidence and connect us even more to our community. Also, I just love birds, anyway.

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Don Boivin's avatar

You beat me by six years haha! (I hope you'll explain that parenthetical remark to me in a DM. I think you've said you've written about an assault in the past but I never read it).

Thank you, Jeannie. Those remarks by parents, and the rejection of our heart's desires behind them, can profoundly influence our self-confidence and our lives, can't they?.

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Oh, yes, definitely, Don! These remarks make an indelible mark, I think especially to highly sensitive children.

I would love to chat more with you about this. I think we still haven’t picked a date to Zoom, so let’s do that soon!

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Don Boivin's avatar

Jeannie, if you put out a couple few dates, I’ll pick one.

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

I’ll text you, Don.

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