This is a beautiful exploration, Don. Thank you for sharing. The bit about satisfaction and desire made me think of this exchange between dancers/choreographers Agnes De Mille and Martha Graham:
"I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be.
Martha said to me, very quietly: “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. As for you, Agnes, you have so far used about one-third of your talent.”
“But,” I said, “when I see my work I take for granted what other people value in it. I see only its ineptitude, inorganic flaws, and crudities. I am not pleased or satisfied.”
“No artist is pleased.”
“But then there is no satisfaction?”
“No satisfaction whatever at any time,” she cried out passionately. “There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”
I feel this so much. As a musician, singer, songwriter, I am my own worst critic. I want to be great lol but I know that's not where my focus should go. I have committed to simply trying to become a "channel" - for better or for worse - for my creative flow. Sucks to hear there's no satisfaction in it lol. Strangely, I know exactly what she means. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for being here, my friend. You might enjoy my essay, “The Happy Luthier.” or even my earliest essay “how I almost became a famous famous singer songwriter” (I didn’t haha) Keep in touch, David!
David, I hope that didn’t come across as self promotion. I honestly wanted to share with you. And I am curious about your music if you have anything you want to share with me. 🙏
No at all, Don. I’m curious to read. It appears you and I have a few things in common 😃. I have a second Substack for just music, it’s linked as a page on my Substack site. You should be able to find it there 🙂 happy to share more though. I’m currently in writing/recording mode at home.
I think the "no satisfaction" part can be interpreted in many ways. The way I experience it, which I'm sure as an artist you do, too, is that there's no real, lasting satisfaction in the "result" so to speak. Moreso, there is the satisfaction of being in the process itself, connected with that vital force of creativity.
Yes, and satisfaction can come in many flavors. There is definitely satisfaction in the creative process but I also find, when I finish a song, a recording, or a piece of art, there is satisfaction with putting something into the world. And even years later, when you rediscover that piece of art, there's a very precious satisfaction with knowing you did that :)
Oh, yes! The rediscovery is so beautiful. Seeing the creations of a self who may not have even been able to imagine the one you are now. I too find great pleasure in releasing creations to the universe
On the flip side of those people we’d be tempted to envy are those that aggravate us, disgust us, or for whatever reason leave us unsettled. That could be any of dozens of people that are bombarded on our senses daily, either directly or indirectly through some media source or a stranger walking past us on the street. As tempting as it is to judge them, think degrading thoughts, or read into the situation our own preconceived ideas and opinions, remember they too are humans made of the same cells and chemicals as yourself, people with humanly flaws not unlike your own now or in the past, or what one could become if not careful. We are all flawed; it’s part of being human, and in the big picture none of it is permanent, none of it will be eventually remembered or matter in some future time (like we’d be around to know). Essentially star dust, formed long ago and reformed many times since and to be reformed many times yet to come; a small speck of a nanosecond in a time scale beyond anyone’s comprehension.
Although I can think and type this all out, I’m hyper-analytical by nature, which means I’m judgmental by nature. These things are hard to overcome, but we must never stop trying.
You are absolutely right, Michael, and thanks for the reminder of the "flip side." A few weeks ago I stared at a picture of a public persona whom I disdain; continued looking and reflecting until his visage became, as you say, "the same cells and chemicals" as myself. It's a good practice!
Desire and acceptance of what is. You are right in many ways!
I have been reflecting on this acceptance and I keep having this mantra or thoughts in my mind: "Your design is unique. Your creator spent quality time perfecting every detail of you. He chose those eyes, that beauty mark, those bruises, that spark in this specific spot in your heart. He carved you with every superpower he knows fits your design. He made you whole with love".
Love is at the center of what we are, no tree considers themselves better than the other tree. No bird shows off their impressive wings to each other, bragging about how the creator added "bright colored spots on them". Every creature is part of a collective beauty, mission, and awe.
It feels like the common challenge and exercise of humanity. Our sole bridge to access acceptance as a routine. Actually, it prevents us from functioning properly. I guess it is part of the training 🌱
Thank you for these words of wisdom and proactive reflections. Imagine if, as a whole we could function properly, accepting and thriving with what we have as a design and schooling of life. We wouldn't build collectively a tower of babel. Who knows, the creative good we could express...
You're an idealist like me! Being willing to see a better, more peaceful and harmonious world doesn't mean we have our heads in the clouds, that we're dreamy or unrealistic, it just means we're willing to envision it. Where else would heaven on earth begin but in our own minds?
The world would be a much better, happier and calmer place only if more people can truly and deeply “experience” this message. Comparison is waste of time and energy. Let’s embrace the beauty of being human! We are all unique in our own way! We only need to feel it!
Really enjoyed this essay and wondered if there was a way (gmail address) to send you something that feels like it really resonates with this. I think you might like it. And either answer (yes or no) is fine. Thanks!
Hi, Joshua. Thank you! Substack just debuted direct messaging, which is private, very similar to Facebook messenger. You can find it on anyone's Substack page. It's usually found near or under "chat."
Yes, I was thinking exactly this. It's a passing perspective that we've attached ourselves to. When we notice the link, we can start to untangle, perspective restored.
Great read Don thank you. Important to reflect and walk our own path. Solitude is always the best way to disconnect from the masses. I'm always at peace in solitude. The ego one upping games no longer exist. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in their minds when they act like that.
“You will not be satisfied until you stop asking for satisfaction” love that…it feels like what the online dating sites have taught me and I so many others going through that agony, thinking these sites will somehow satisfy them.
This is beautiful. I keep finding that Buddhism has the words for so many of the feelings I've struggled to express before. Thank you for adding to those words too
That's so wonderful to hear. I would say that is how I found buddhism/mindfulness as well. By stumbling upon books or words that hit home, or hit some vulnerable spot of my own that needed comforting.
Yes precisely, little nuggets of wisdom that at some point I started following the trail of and it led me back to Buddhism. I've been lucky too to find a community at a centre in London that has taken my practice deeper but also continuously reminds me how much more wisdom and peace it has to offer if I keep listening. And not at all, thanks for checking out my posts too :)
This is a beautiful exploration, Don. Thank you for sharing. The bit about satisfaction and desire made me think of this exchange between dancers/choreographers Agnes De Mille and Martha Graham:
"I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be.
Martha said to me, very quietly: “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. As for you, Agnes, you have so far used about one-third of your talent.”
“But,” I said, “when I see my work I take for granted what other people value in it. I see only its ineptitude, inorganic flaws, and crudities. I am not pleased or satisfied.”
“No artist is pleased.”
“But then there is no satisfaction?”
“No satisfaction whatever at any time,” she cried out passionately. “There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”
Wonderful! I will print this out to read now and then.
And is this part of a larger body of work that I might be interested in reading?
Thank you for sharing this, Faye. I really appreciate it!
My pleasure to share :) I've written the last bit on a nice thick piece of paper that stands on my desk with other things I like to remember.
And, yes! I do think you would enjoy the biography it comes from. It's called Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham written by Agnes De Mille
Thank you, Faye. I will definitely check that out!
I feel this so much. As a musician, singer, songwriter, I am my own worst critic. I want to be great lol but I know that's not where my focus should go. I have committed to simply trying to become a "channel" - for better or for worse - for my creative flow. Sucks to hear there's no satisfaction in it lol. Strangely, I know exactly what she means. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for being here, my friend. You might enjoy my essay, “The Happy Luthier.” or even my earliest essay “how I almost became a famous famous singer songwriter” (I didn’t haha) Keep in touch, David!
Cool! I'll check those out! Thanks :)
David, I hope that didn’t come across as self promotion. I honestly wanted to share with you. And I am curious about your music if you have anything you want to share with me. 🙏
No at all, Don. I’m curious to read. It appears you and I have a few things in common 😃. I have a second Substack for just music, it’s linked as a page on my Substack site. You should be able to find it there 🙂 happy to share more though. I’m currently in writing/recording mode at home.
Lovely! 😊
I think the "no satisfaction" part can be interpreted in many ways. The way I experience it, which I'm sure as an artist you do, too, is that there's no real, lasting satisfaction in the "result" so to speak. Moreso, there is the satisfaction of being in the process itself, connected with that vital force of creativity.
Yes, and satisfaction can come in many flavors. There is definitely satisfaction in the creative process but I also find, when I finish a song, a recording, or a piece of art, there is satisfaction with putting something into the world. And even years later, when you rediscover that piece of art, there's a very precious satisfaction with knowing you did that :)
Oh, yes! The rediscovery is so beautiful. Seeing the creations of a self who may not have even been able to imagine the one you are now. I too find great pleasure in releasing creations to the universe
Beautifully written Don. Thank you.
On the flip side of those people we’d be tempted to envy are those that aggravate us, disgust us, or for whatever reason leave us unsettled. That could be any of dozens of people that are bombarded on our senses daily, either directly or indirectly through some media source or a stranger walking past us on the street. As tempting as it is to judge them, think degrading thoughts, or read into the situation our own preconceived ideas and opinions, remember they too are humans made of the same cells and chemicals as yourself, people with humanly flaws not unlike your own now or in the past, or what one could become if not careful. We are all flawed; it’s part of being human, and in the big picture none of it is permanent, none of it will be eventually remembered or matter in some future time (like we’d be around to know). Essentially star dust, formed long ago and reformed many times since and to be reformed many times yet to come; a small speck of a nanosecond in a time scale beyond anyone’s comprehension.
Although I can think and type this all out, I’m hyper-analytical by nature, which means I’m judgmental by nature. These things are hard to overcome, but we must never stop trying.
You are absolutely right, Michael, and thanks for the reminder of the "flip side." A few weeks ago I stared at a picture of a public persona whom I disdain; continued looking and reflecting until his visage became, as you say, "the same cells and chemicals" as myself. It's a good practice!
Thank you, Satya. It’s an honor to have you here. I enjoy Going Gently; it was one of the first Substack publications I subscribed to 🩷
I never understood the fulfilment thing anyway.
Just listened to the audio. The piece is even better now!
Such a wonderful and important message... and delivered with your smooth, well cadenced voice, it really comes in for a nice landing.
Great stuff, Don! Thanks for going back and putting in this bonus.
Thank you so much, Jeff! I really appreciate hearing that from you 💚
What a beautiful piece and activator.Thank you!
Desire and acceptance of what is. You are right in many ways!
I have been reflecting on this acceptance and I keep having this mantra or thoughts in my mind: "Your design is unique. Your creator spent quality time perfecting every detail of you. He chose those eyes, that beauty mark, those bruises, that spark in this specific spot in your heart. He carved you with every superpower he knows fits your design. He made you whole with love".
Love is at the center of what we are, no tree considers themselves better than the other tree. No bird shows off their impressive wings to each other, bragging about how the creator added "bright colored spots on them". Every creature is part of a collective beauty, mission, and awe.
It feels like the common challenge and exercise of humanity. Our sole bridge to access acceptance as a routine. Actually, it prevents us from functioning properly. I guess it is part of the training 🌱
Thank you for these words of wisdom and proactive reflections. Imagine if, as a whole we could function properly, accepting and thriving with what we have as a design and schooling of life. We wouldn't build collectively a tower of babel. Who knows, the creative good we could express...
You're an idealist like me! Being willing to see a better, more peaceful and harmonious world doesn't mean we have our heads in the clouds, that we're dreamy or unrealistic, it just means we're willing to envision it. Where else would heaven on earth begin but in our own minds?
Thank you, Keva!
So true! We craft our heaven or hell. Perhaps there lies the biggest willpower we have. Of we really have willpower In this school.
Indeed, I am an idealist too. We are growing league and hopefully we will always be 🙂
Brilliant message in such a well crafted piece. Kudos, Don. You made me tear up a bit reading this. Beautiful.
Oh, my gosh, I'm moved. Thank you, Jeremy! Thank you for sharing the love. ❤️
Lovely post
Thank you, Rohit. :-)
You're Welcome Sir
The world would be a much better, happier and calmer place only if more people can truly and deeply “experience” this message. Comparison is waste of time and energy. Let’s embrace the beauty of being human! We are all unique in our own way! We only need to feel it!
You said it, River! Thank you so much for reading and contributing your thoughts 🩷
Thank you for sharing the truth that we all need to know❤️
Yes
Don,
Really enjoyed this essay and wondered if there was a way (gmail address) to send you something that feels like it really resonates with this. I think you might like it. And either answer (yes or no) is fine. Thanks!
Hi, Joshua. Thank you! Substack just debuted direct messaging, which is private, very similar to Facebook messenger. You can find it on anyone's Substack page. It's usually found near or under "chat."
Thanks!
especially…
Good point! :-)
Really loved this. Everything we believe about other events, things, and people is just the narrative we paint in our minds.
It’s true, you’re right! Thanks, Nick. 🙂
Yes, I was thinking exactly this. It's a passing perspective that we've attached ourselves to. When we notice the link, we can start to untangle, perspective restored.
Great read Don thank you. Important to reflect and walk our own path. Solitude is always the best way to disconnect from the masses. I'm always at peace in solitude. The ego one upping games no longer exist. Sometimes I wonder what's going on in their minds when they act like that.
Thanks, Brian. You're right about solitude. It's so good and necessary and a chance to be with "what is."
“You will not be satisfied until you stop asking for satisfaction” love that…it feels like what the online dating sites have taught me and I so many others going through that agony, thinking these sites will somehow satisfy them.
Isn’t that the truth? Thanks, Tara. I wish you the best! 🩷
This is beautiful. I keep finding that Buddhism has the words for so many of the feelings I've struggled to express before. Thank you for adding to those words too
Thank you for subscribing, Daniela! ❤️
That's so wonderful to hear. I would say that is how I found buddhism/mindfulness as well. By stumbling upon books or words that hit home, or hit some vulnerable spot of my own that needed comforting.
Thanks for reading, Daniela!
Yes precisely, little nuggets of wisdom that at some point I started following the trail of and it led me back to Buddhism. I've been lucky too to find a community at a centre in London that has taken my practice deeper but also continuously reminds me how much more wisdom and peace it has to offer if I keep listening. And not at all, thanks for checking out my posts too :)