You put something into words here that I've been struggling with for a while – the notion of practicing Buddhist meditation, but not being a Buddhist (as in converting to Buddhism). I've taken up Zen and Vipassana around ten years ago, and I do practice insight meditation, mindfulness meditation and sometimes Metta meditation. It's not important to me to label myself a "Buddhist", though the practice has changed my life – and that's all that matters to me. Cheers from Germany, Stephan
Good point, Isabel. It sort of reminds me of the dating app commercial, in which the advertisers claim that their goal is for you to delete their app because you don’t need it anymore. lol 😆
Wow, Don! I see a Memoir in the trees of your life and I have the benefit and blessing of having met you F2F, a delightful time in Hyannis last week. You bring up two things for me in this brief bio besides your talent for creative expression in what you have produced and what continues to inspire you. The first is that I don't remember when I came to "I AM" as defining me. It may have been in translating some Hebrew that sowed the seed that has been sprouting ever since. It is in the book of Exodus when God said to Moses, "I am that I am." There's much more to that for another time. The second thing is what Ghandi said: "'I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Many who call themselves "Christians" today do not look or sound like they have a clue what that means about loving your neighbor, doing justice, showing mercy, offering peace. You, my friend, are walking the walk. It's a privilege to know you and to receive the gifts of what you share here.
Finishing up our 10 day trip with 3 nights in NYC and leaving early tomorrow morning to fly home. I'm confident you'll write a book and hope I'm around to read it.
Thanks Gary. I know you said you were going to see a show or a play in the city. I’ve only been to one Broadway play – fiddler on the roof. It was an astounding performance!
Great to learn more about you, Don! I love what you say about your interest in and engagement with Buddhism but lack of desire to call yourself a Buddhist. I'm similar - I feel Buddhism has a lot to teach me and I am very willing to learn, but for now I'm resistant to labelling myself in that way (perhaps partly because my meditation practice comes and goes). That might not be the case forever, but for now I tend to think of myself as 'Buddhist-adjacent' or 'Buddhist-curious'. Loved the quote from Dan's book - I will have to get myself a copy!
In regards to Dan't book, I found it refreshingly non-religious, despite the fact that he was a Jewish rabbi. I've been reading books on mindfulness almost non-stop for the last five years and this one was not repetitive in any way, speaking about ego and "unity-consciousness" in a really fresh and original way.. It opened my mind even further! It was brief and easy to read, too.
Hi Don, it's lovely to learn more about you. Thank you for sharing more about yourself. I'm now switching from 'French' Boi-re to 'Slow'- Bo ;-)
I'm going to read Dan's book now. I appreciate how you've discussed the religious concepts—Dan's quote hits the mark.
Curiosity and learning have always driven me to explore, so I find it hard to hold to only one 'path', or to define one as superior to others. So I'm saving this article as you've surmised what was an inarticulate feeling. Thanks
I love how you say that “Transformation, waking up, realizing our true nature; that’s what matters,” not what religion or practices you adhere to. That’s my mission! So many ways to the top of the mountain, as they say! Yet I also love how you discovered meditation and attend sanghas regularly. There is also such richness in participating in contemplative experiences whenever we can. I have done Vedic meditation and sometimes do my Vedic meditation and sometimes do something more Shamanic when the mood takes me. And the quotes from your teachers in school. Classic! That made me laugh. Very sweet. Thanks for sharing yourself. I can feel your good heart. 🙏🏻
Thanks, Michelle! I had included in my essay a note commenting on the teacher's report about my crying "instead" of asking for help, how I was otherwise "well adjusted." I was never once referred for counseling despite my terror of speaking out in class throughout grade school and beyond (not sure schools even had counselors back then)! But I deleted it to keep things streamlined. Perhaps the subject of another post!
This is a great intro Don. I resonate with the shyness. Infact three quarters of the way through grade 1 my teacher called in my parents with great excitement because I had finally spoken. Apparently I answered a question with a whispered 'yes.' I'm sure this has held me back in life. People assume that if you are quiet you don't have much to say, whereas the opposite is often the case - hence the writing. I too am loving Substack for that. It is wonderful that you have found Jennifer. I'm sure she has added a lot of richness to your life. Thanks for writing so honestly in all your posts. 😊
Thank you so much, Phoebe. I think today they might have diagnosed you with "selective mutism". My daughter suffered from social anxiety pretty badly. Your whispered "yes" reminds me of her. And if she did have to speak to another adult she would look at me or her mother, not at the person she was speaking to.
From the sound of your brief bio, I think you may be right! And I notice we each have a post entitled "Who Am I?" I am going to check out some of your writing, Aun. Thanks!
So lovely to meet you properly! And I'm so glad Thich Nhat Hanh’s book fell into your life exactly when you needed it, what beautiful serendipity. I was also a very shy child throughout school and can very much relate to those reports. Every parent's evening without fail my mum would be told I need to speak more in class! And then one year my English teacher understood me and my silence and said she knew I was always thinking and she didn't need me to speak. That was the most wonderful invitation to be able to share my ideas I've ever had.
Thanks, Daniela. That’s a great story. I wonder how many of us Substack writers have good memories of English teachers who inspired us or supported us in some way. I sure do!
Such a great idea for a post (I might co-opt it at some point, will reference you of course!:). I too have always “borne a tremendous desire to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life, but lacked the modeling and guidance needed.” I can relate to your not- Buddhist, not-Christian, not-other various labels experience. I have an awful lot of trouble trying to answer people when they ask what I am - human is probably the most accurate response. I do also really appreciate Adyashanti’s teachings on this. The canoe is beautiful!
I smiled when I read your explanation of why you do not consider yourself a Buddhist, even though the Buddha’s teachings are an important part of your life. It reminded me of the observation, “The Buddha did not teach Buddhism. He taught the Dharma.”
A lovely introduction, Don. Your kind voice says everything one needs to know about you but... knowing about you is fun!
Adya has been transformational in my life, as well. I attended two, five-day silent retreats at Asilomar in California some years ago, and the forced self-reflection and increased self-awareness was revelatory. Though his spiritual journey was via Buddhism, he taught only the most direct path to self realization.
A lot has been 'budding' in my life in the past ~15 years; audiobook narration is a brand new feature of that quest.
As a relative Substack newcomer (and lover of the community), I think I'll take the opportunity to use your narration as a way of venturing into the deep end of the pool. Imitation being the sincerest form...
Thank you so much, Linda! 🙏💚 If you add audio readings you won't be imitating me; Substack recommends it! And with good reason; so many more will listen while they're walking, driving, or working.
I have actually not read Adyashanti yet (I was quoting Dan Ehrenkrantz quoting Adyashanti) but I have a book waiting for me at the library right now and can't wait to read it!
Adya's The Way of Liberation will tell you everything you need to know about his teachings, though it's unlikely to be a library book (which is always the first source I check, as well.) Enjoy the day.
Don, really enjoyed your brief bio. I couldn't help but see parallels in my own life story, but am especially intrigued by your daily discipline of meditation. Although I come from a Christian background, I can appreciate and lean into the wisdom of other spiritual paths. As an admirer of practitioners of Celtic spirituality such as John O'Donohue and the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. One of the greatest gifts of a mindfulness practice is that one can appreciate the subtleties and nuances of the journey and not be absolutely single-mindedly focused on the end. Thank you for this Don.
I’ve been to California a few times. My grandfather, whom I only met once, lived most of his life in Pasadena area. And I did a road trip up the coast with an ex-girlfriend. My strongest memory is the aquarium and the elephant seals on the beach, but I guess that’s not southern. (I’ve also more recently visited my sister-in-law a few times in SF).
Haha, yes it does, Don! In fact, the last couple of years quite a bit. Everything is still green in the hills and deserts. I live in Altadena which is just outside of Pasadena! Yes, the Aquarium in Monterey is a bit north of me but we have a smaller one down here in Long Beach. Good chatting with you, Don!
I continue to love how many parallel paths we have, I almost feel like we were siblings separated at birth : ) Given that I grew up as an only child, I sometimes wish I had a brother or sister so I often adopt them along the way!
Here's another fun karmic intersection. Many years ago I worked at Parallax Press, and I attended the Plum Village retreat where Thich Nhat Hanh gave the dharma talks that ended up becoming the book "The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings." I actually transcribed and helped to edit a number of those talks when the book was being put together. I love that that book was one of the touchstones of your dharma path.
And I totally get not wanting to be a capital B Buddhist. For a long time I was the same way. Still am, to some degree. I don't really like to be a card-carrying-anything. What was that line from Groucho Marx -- I would never want to belong to any club that would have me as a member. Like that. As time goes by, though, I feel more comfortable identifying that way... though I still prefer to say I practice Buddhism than I "am" a Buddhist.
Anyway, it's a joy to be walking this path alongside you!
Thank you so very much, Maia. What a special thing, that you got to see (meet?) Thich Nhat Hanh and hear him speak. After that first book, I continued to read his many books, and loved You Are Here the most. I really feel his all-loving, all-accepting spirit in that book, and often pick it up just for a spiritual boost. Thay is the one role model above all others for me.
One thing I didn’t share in my bio is that even though I have 7 siblings, I never felt a sense of belonging with my family and was never able to turn to them for comfort, support, or modeling (well, I guess I did allude briefly to that). Many of my sibs have had trouble with either alcohol, the law, anxiety, or closed minds. I am somewhat close with my twin, who suffers from anxiety. The men she has chosen have not treated her well and now her two children are suffering as well. (this should be a DM but oh well). She looks up to me and says that she lives her life vicariously through me. We talk more than I talk with any of my other sibs.
Long story short; if you need any sibs, you’re welcome to a few of mine haha! Maybe you can bring some peace to my youngest brother, who holds a lot of anger. ☮️
Thank you so much for your support, Maia. I really am grateful for you. 🙏💚
I loved getting a deeper glimpse of your life! those quote about crying instead of asking questions in school really resonated with me. I was known to hide under tables 😹
Hey Don, thanks for this intriguing introduction.
You put something into words here that I've been struggling with for a while – the notion of practicing Buddhist meditation, but not being a Buddhist (as in converting to Buddhism). I've taken up Zen and Vipassana around ten years ago, and I do practice insight meditation, mindfulness meditation and sometimes Metta meditation. It's not important to me to label myself a "Buddhist", though the practice has changed my life – and that's all that matters to me. Cheers from Germany, Stephan
Thanks, Stephan. I sometimes say that I practice Buddhist-inspired mindfulness. Or just mindfulness! Glad to hear it has changed your life. Mine too!
Seems like the most Buddhist choice of all—no attachment to the label
Good point, Isabel. It sort of reminds me of the dating app commercial, in which the advertisers claim that their goal is for you to delete their app because you don’t need it anymore. lol 😆
Wow, Don! I see a Memoir in the trees of your life and I have the benefit and blessing of having met you F2F, a delightful time in Hyannis last week. You bring up two things for me in this brief bio besides your talent for creative expression in what you have produced and what continues to inspire you. The first is that I don't remember when I came to "I AM" as defining me. It may have been in translating some Hebrew that sowed the seed that has been sprouting ever since. It is in the book of Exodus when God said to Moses, "I am that I am." There's much more to that for another time. The second thing is what Ghandi said: "'I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Many who call themselves "Christians" today do not look or sound like they have a clue what that means about loving your neighbor, doing justice, showing mercy, offering peace. You, my friend, are walking the walk. It's a privilege to know you and to receive the gifts of what you share here.
Thank you so much, Gary! That’s very flattering. I would love to write a book!
It really was so nice meeting you and Susie . I’m glad you had a great vacation. Back in Mexico now?
Finishing up our 10 day trip with 3 nights in NYC and leaving early tomorrow morning to fly home. I'm confident you'll write a book and hope I'm around to read it.
Thanks Gary. I know you said you were going to see a show or a play in the city. I’ve only been to one Broadway play – fiddler on the roof. It was an astounding performance!
Great to learn more about you, Don! I love what you say about your interest in and engagement with Buddhism but lack of desire to call yourself a Buddhist. I'm similar - I feel Buddhism has a lot to teach me and I am very willing to learn, but for now I'm resistant to labelling myself in that way (perhaps partly because my meditation practice comes and goes). That might not be the case forever, but for now I tend to think of myself as 'Buddhist-adjacent' or 'Buddhist-curious'. Loved the quote from Dan's book - I will have to get myself a copy!
Me, too, Kate! I use the term Buddhist-inspired.
In regards to Dan't book, I found it refreshingly non-religious, despite the fact that he was a Jewish rabbi. I've been reading books on mindfulness almost non-stop for the last five years and this one was not repetitive in any way, speaking about ego and "unity-consciousness" in a really fresh and original way.. It opened my mind even further! It was brief and easy to read, too.
Nice to hear from you, Kate!
Ooh, I like Buddhist-inspired!
Hi Don, it's lovely to learn more about you. Thank you for sharing more about yourself. I'm now switching from 'French' Boi-re to 'Slow'- Bo ;-)
I'm going to read Dan's book now. I appreciate how you've discussed the religious concepts—Dan's quote hits the mark.
Curiosity and learning have always driven me to explore, so I find it hard to hold to only one 'path', or to define one as superior to others. So I'm saving this article as you've surmised what was an inarticulate feeling. Thanks
Haha, I actually don't mind when people pronounce my name in the French. It's just the "boy" pronunciation that I don't care for.
Thanks, Victoria. 🙏💚
I love how you say that “Transformation, waking up, realizing our true nature; that’s what matters,” not what religion or practices you adhere to. That’s my mission! So many ways to the top of the mountain, as they say! Yet I also love how you discovered meditation and attend sanghas regularly. There is also such richness in participating in contemplative experiences whenever we can. I have done Vedic meditation and sometimes do my Vedic meditation and sometimes do something more Shamanic when the mood takes me. And the quotes from your teachers in school. Classic! That made me laugh. Very sweet. Thanks for sharing yourself. I can feel your good heart. 🙏🏻
Thanks, Michelle! I had included in my essay a note commenting on the teacher's report about my crying "instead" of asking for help, how I was otherwise "well adjusted." I was never once referred for counseling despite my terror of speaking out in class throughout grade school and beyond (not sure schools even had counselors back then)! But I deleted it to keep things streamlined. Perhaps the subject of another post!
Pleased to meet you Don:)
Thank you for your thought provoking and vulnerable posts on being a human in this world 🙏
Thank you, Lisa! 🙏
This is a great intro Don. I resonate with the shyness. Infact three quarters of the way through grade 1 my teacher called in my parents with great excitement because I had finally spoken. Apparently I answered a question with a whispered 'yes.' I'm sure this has held me back in life. People assume that if you are quiet you don't have much to say, whereas the opposite is often the case - hence the writing. I too am loving Substack for that. It is wonderful that you have found Jennifer. I'm sure she has added a lot of richness to your life. Thanks for writing so honestly in all your posts. 😊
Thank you so much, Phoebe. I think today they might have diagnosed you with "selective mutism". My daughter suffered from social anxiety pretty badly. Your whispered "yes" reminds me of her. And if she did have to speak to another adult she would look at me or her mother, not at the person she was speaking to.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Phoebe! 💚
Yes, I think you are right about the selective mutism. I was actually an early speaker, just not in social situations like school.
I swear if we went to school together we would be friends for sure! Glad to know you, and love your essays and stories.
From the sound of your brief bio, I think you may be right! And I notice we each have a post entitled "Who Am I?" I am going to check out some of your writing, Aun. Thanks!
Don I really enjoyed reading this! You are such an artist. It shows in everything you do. Be proud. I'm so proud of you!❣️
Thanks, Donna. I hope you're okay with that picture. I think you look really cute! 🩷🩷
So lovely to meet you properly! And I'm so glad Thich Nhat Hanh’s book fell into your life exactly when you needed it, what beautiful serendipity. I was also a very shy child throughout school and can very much relate to those reports. Every parent's evening without fail my mum would be told I need to speak more in class! And then one year my English teacher understood me and my silence and said she knew I was always thinking and she didn't need me to speak. That was the most wonderful invitation to be able to share my ideas I've ever had.
Thanks, Daniela. That’s a great story. I wonder how many of us Substack writers have good memories of English teachers who inspired us or supported us in some way. I sure do!
I think you could be onto something there!
Hi Don!
Such a great idea for a post (I might co-opt it at some point, will reference you of course!:). I too have always “borne a tremendous desire to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life, but lacked the modeling and guidance needed.” I can relate to your not- Buddhist, not-Christian, not-other various labels experience. I have an awful lot of trouble trying to answer people when they ask what I am - human is probably the most accurate response. I do also really appreciate Adyashanti’s teachings on this. The canoe is beautiful!
Thank you for sharing, Don.
I smiled when I read your explanation of why you do not consider yourself a Buddhist, even though the Buddha’s teachings are an important part of your life. It reminded me of the observation, “The Buddha did not teach Buddhism. He taught the Dharma.”
Thanks, Taishin. So nice to hear from you; I really value your input! 🙏
A lovely introduction, Don. Your kind voice says everything one needs to know about you but... knowing about you is fun!
Adya has been transformational in my life, as well. I attended two, five-day silent retreats at Asilomar in California some years ago, and the forced self-reflection and increased self-awareness was revelatory. Though his spiritual journey was via Buddhism, he taught only the most direct path to self realization.
A lot has been 'budding' in my life in the past ~15 years; audiobook narration is a brand new feature of that quest.
As a relative Substack newcomer (and lover of the community), I think I'll take the opportunity to use your narration as a way of venturing into the deep end of the pool. Imitation being the sincerest form...
Thank you so much, Linda! 🙏💚 If you add audio readings you won't be imitating me; Substack recommends it! And with good reason; so many more will listen while they're walking, driving, or working.
I have actually not read Adyashanti yet (I was quoting Dan Ehrenkrantz quoting Adyashanti) but I have a book waiting for me at the library right now and can't wait to read it!
Thanks and have a wonderful day. 😊
Adya's The Way of Liberation will tell you everything you need to know about his teachings, though it's unlikely to be a library book (which is always the first source I check, as well.) Enjoy the day.
Yes, that one was unavailable. I’ll be reading a book called “The Most Important Thing.”
Don, really enjoyed your brief bio. I couldn't help but see parallels in my own life story, but am especially intrigued by your daily discipline of meditation. Although I come from a Christian background, I can appreciate and lean into the wisdom of other spiritual paths. As an admirer of practitioners of Celtic spirituality such as John O'Donohue and the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. One of the greatest gifts of a mindfulness practice is that one can appreciate the subtleties and nuances of the journey and not be absolutely single-mindedly focused on the end. Thank you for this Don.
I come from a Christian background as well, and forgot to mention that in my bio ha ha! I was raised Catholic; I was an altar boy for goodness sake!
Thanks for your comment, steve. It’s always a pleasure to hear from you. 💚
Don, really the pleasure is mine. Lol, I was an altar boy, too! My goal was always to make a catch at communion time but never did…🤣
So we have that in common! Where did you say you grew up, Steve?
I was born and lived my entire life in Southern California.
Does it ever rain in Southern California? 🎶 🙂
I’ve been to California a few times. My grandfather, whom I only met once, lived most of his life in Pasadena area. And I did a road trip up the coast with an ex-girlfriend. My strongest memory is the aquarium and the elephant seals on the beach, but I guess that’s not southern. (I’ve also more recently visited my sister-in-law a few times in SF).
Take care, Steve!
Haha, yes it does, Don! In fact, the last couple of years quite a bit. Everything is still green in the hills and deserts. I live in Altadena which is just outside of Pasadena! Yes, the Aquarium in Monterey is a bit north of me but we have a smaller one down here in Long Beach. Good chatting with you, Don!
This is great, Don.
I continue to love how many parallel paths we have, I almost feel like we were siblings separated at birth : ) Given that I grew up as an only child, I sometimes wish I had a brother or sister so I often adopt them along the way!
Here's another fun karmic intersection. Many years ago I worked at Parallax Press, and I attended the Plum Village retreat where Thich Nhat Hanh gave the dharma talks that ended up becoming the book "The Heart of the Buddha's Teachings." I actually transcribed and helped to edit a number of those talks when the book was being put together. I love that that book was one of the touchstones of your dharma path.
And I totally get not wanting to be a capital B Buddhist. For a long time I was the same way. Still am, to some degree. I don't really like to be a card-carrying-anything. What was that line from Groucho Marx -- I would never want to belong to any club that would have me as a member. Like that. As time goes by, though, I feel more comfortable identifying that way... though I still prefer to say I practice Buddhism than I "am" a Buddhist.
Anyway, it's a joy to be walking this path alongside you!
Thank you so very much, Maia. What a special thing, that you got to see (meet?) Thich Nhat Hanh and hear him speak. After that first book, I continued to read his many books, and loved You Are Here the most. I really feel his all-loving, all-accepting spirit in that book, and often pick it up just for a spiritual boost. Thay is the one role model above all others for me.
One thing I didn’t share in my bio is that even though I have 7 siblings, I never felt a sense of belonging with my family and was never able to turn to them for comfort, support, or modeling (well, I guess I did allude briefly to that). Many of my sibs have had trouble with either alcohol, the law, anxiety, or closed minds. I am somewhat close with my twin, who suffers from anxiety. The men she has chosen have not treated her well and now her two children are suffering as well. (this should be a DM but oh well). She looks up to me and says that she lives her life vicariously through me. We talk more than I talk with any of my other sibs.
Long story short; if you need any sibs, you’re welcome to a few of mine haha! Maybe you can bring some peace to my youngest brother, who holds a lot of anger. ☮️
Thank you so much for your support, Maia. I really am grateful for you. 🙏💚
I loved getting a deeper glimpse of your life! those quote about crying instead of asking questions in school really resonated with me. I was known to hide under tables 😹
Aw, that must’ve been cute. Not for you, of course. Being a kid can be scary!
apparently it was quite scary indeed. but looking back, yes, pretty adorable