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Amanda Saint's avatar

This was a lovely read, Don, and one I really needed today. I’ve been struggling to maintain perspective a bit this week and this was a lovely reminder that my perceived problems lack cosmic importance! Thank you. I watched a documentary recently about people who had died briefly and come back and all of their stories support that we do indeed come from somewhere before we are this version of consciousness and that we go somewhere after here too.

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Don Boivin's avatar

I'm so glad it was helpful, Amanda. Hey, I was thinking about you yesterday. I started seeing a therapist to help me deal with some family issues, and he suggested the book, Stop Walking on Eggshells. My children's mother probably has Borderline Personality Disorder and even though I am about as cut off from her as you are from your mother (and I don't have to worry about her trying to contact me like you do, but I do have to deal with my son, who is heavily influenced by her), I'm already digging in to the book. Have you ever read it?

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Amanda Saint's avatar

I’ve not come across that book, no. Sounds like it would’ve been helpful if I had though! Hope the therapy helps with the family stuff.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Amanda.

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Daniel Appleton's avatar

Energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes forms. I'm not a physicist NOR a mystic, but that seems to wrap up existence pretty well.

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Gary Gruber's avatar

It was the 1918 Nobel prize winning physicist Max Planck who said "When we change the way we look at things, the things we're looking at change."

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Daniel Appleton's avatar

The Observer Effect ? If I look at a light bulb, a candle, or, say, the telescopic image of Saturn's rings, how much does that effect them ? I've never been CLEAR about that.

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Kert Lenseigne 🌱's avatar

To answer that, I think, we’d both need to enroll in a course on quantum physics. LOL! 😂 But I think Einstein himself even said something like: “Even quantum physicists don’t understand quantum physics.” Though attributed to many, the person who first articulated this mystery was JBS Haldane when he said “the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.”

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Daniel Appleton's avatar

Hmm - quantum physics can go in some very INTERESTING & perhaps CONFUSING directions.

God doesn't play dice with the universe. Or maybe he does, then he hides them..... ?

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Charles Clemens's avatar

The Observer Effect refers to the phenomenon in which the act of observation or measurement affects the system being observed. This concept is widely discussed in physics, particularly in quantum mechanics, but it can also apply to other fields like psychology and social sciences.

Quantum Mechanics:

In quantum mechanics, the Observer Effect often refers to the impact of measurement on quantum systems. A famous example is the double-slit experiment, where the behavior of particles like electrons changes depending on whether or not they are being observed.

Psychology:

In psychology, the Observer Effect can occur when individuals change their behavior because they know they are being watched. For example, people might act more socially desirable in a study when they know they are being observed.

Social Sciences:

In social sciences, the effect can also manifest in research studies and experiments. For instance, a teacher might change their teaching style when being observed, impacting the outcomes of the study.

The general idea is that the process of measuring or observing can influence the object of the measurement or observation, altering its behavior or properties.

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Amanda Saint's avatar

I’ve come to learn that I can’t wrap up anything!

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TheUltraContemplative's avatar

Great perspective, Don. One of the many reasons I love trail running is meditating upon the stoic, seemingly indifferent, face of nature. I still marvel at the eons of existence of mountains but I'm even more blown away by the fact that you pointed out; we came from something, the same something that everything in nature and the universe came from--such a marvelous thought. This is truly beautiful, Don. Thank you so much for this.

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Don Boivin's avatar

It really is a marvelous thought isn't it? Why did we ever feel we needed to improve on perfect mystery? (And where did we get the hubris?)

Thank you, Steve! 🙏💚

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TheUltraContemplative's avatar

That is a wonderful phrase and thought--perfect mystery. Our hubris just highlights the lack of awareness of our true frailty in this vastness of existence.

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Dawn Lauren Anderson's avatar

For me, you are describing the soul, which is our essence. I have always felt a part of nature, living most of my life within nature, interacting with animals, appreciating their uniqueness, admiring plants, growing them for food and pleasure.

As I read your post, I watched the snow drifting down on the plants, the branch broken in last week’s ice storm, and the birds feasting on the sunflower seeds offered out of season by another member of the environment.

Sitting in my warm home, nature abounds within these walls; wood floors and cabinets, stone hearth, leather upholstery, and cotton clothing. I’m honored to be a physical presence within this beautiful world.

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

That's such a lovely meditation, Dawn!

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Don Boivin's avatar

So lovely, Dawn, thank you! 🙏💚

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Gary Gruber's avatar

It is when we come into our being in concert with the great I AM that we are at home with ourselves and our Creator, by whatever name. I stumbled upon this one day conjugating the verb "to be" and had an epiphany of sorts with a new understanding of each person, singular and plural. Try it out loud sometime, see if you see and hear something of the eternal. I found it to be a "prayer" affirming life as we live it.

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Don Boivin's avatar

I'll try it, Gary! 🙏

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Wow, Don, as usual, you got me thinking with this essay today. I realized that most of my cognition revolves around projection and perception, not necessarily viewing things or people or nature as they are. I think we all do this to some degree, and it's a large part of why I studied psychology--because no one can be entirely immune to judgment. We filter the world, based on past experience and our personalities and unresolved wounds and all sorts of things. I think it may originate as a survival skill--to assess the landscape and determine whether there is danger present, for instance.

But you're right--so many passionate and zealous people justify their behavior based on principle. And I realized these last few years that this is, quite possible, one of the major issues with world religions. I am thinking of my own, Catholic Christianity, and how so many people have been hurt by religion. Not because the religion itself is inherently bad or good (as you say philosophically), but because of the interpretation of that religion that people are forced to believe out of fear or subservience.

That's why my story is not a deconstruction story per se. I do take apart the religion I was taught and I assemble it into something that makes sense for me--and I try to do this without suggesting it is the one or only right way. I realize that God is a vast mystery, and each of us has a complex and evolving understanding of and relationship to the supernatural. To me, that's good. It means, if I am living my own values and principles, that we can respect that about each other.

And, again, when you wrote about peace and what that means, I thought more about it. You're right that people are passionate in claiming that peace means non-violence at all costs (I tend to be among these, but I am flexible and open to conversations). But others are stalwart in saying that peace cannot happen without war--which is strange to me, because war is so ugly to me. It hurts so many people.

The Buddhist concept of emptiness you mentioned reminds me of a comparable concept in Catholicism--detachment. It's based on Ignatian spirituality called "holy indifference," which is something I sort of fleshed out in one of my earlier books on grief. I wrote about how, in this definition, indifference does not mean apathy. It means that when we pray, or however we pray, we surrender our expectations of an outcome.

So, instead of saying, "I'm praying that my brother will be healed of cancer," we simply pray for whatever healing means in that situation. We don't believe that God is good when someone's cancer goes into remission, or that it was God alone who allowed the person to be cured. Likewise, we don't blame God if someone dies from cancer after all those prayers seemingly ignored.

It's a form of emptiness. It's detaching ourselves from what we want or don't want, what we hope will or won't happen, and instead simply lean into whatever is. Accepting what is.

This has been incredibly difficult for me, mainly because I have a strong personality. I am a passionate person. And I grew up in an equally zealous home with a mom whose pathology tainted everything she taught me about God and religion--which I believed for a long, long time until my mental breakdown in 2020.

So, reassembling what faith means to me has become more and more abstract and difficult to do. I think there are different types of faith and that when a person doubts, it does not mean that person has no faith.

I could go on, but this is long enough.

One more thing: My dad often would go outside on our screened-in porch when I was a kid, long after sunset, with his glass of bourbon. He'd tell us it was his time to "commune with nature," which reminded me of what you tell your wife when you go out to take your walks.

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Don Boivin's avatar

What a thoughtful reply, Jeannie. I'm getting to know you more and more! 💚

I'll just respond to one of your subjects here: detachment. I have always appreciated the idea of detachment, and more specifically, "detachment from results," because when you put it that way, you see that detachment doesn't mean simply not to care, in which case there would be no reason to try at anything. Detachment from results means throwing your energy into the process and understanding that THAT is where the gold is. Have you ever seen the Buddhist monks who specialize in producing beautiful sand mandalas? That is like the epitome of detachment from results. They spend hours, maybe days producing these beautiful intricate works of art that will be swept away. What practice!

Oh, and one other comment. In regards to fighting for peace, have you ever heard the expression?: "Fighting for peace is like F%#*ing for virginity." 🤣

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Jeannie Ewing's avatar

Oh wow, no, I haven't heard that expression before, Don, but it fits!

I have seen those sand mandalas. Exquisite.

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Korie's avatar

Jesus said that “those who lose their life will find it”… and that is why dying to self is important. It FREES us. The experience of true reality - the essence of life that exists in every moment - helps us to realize that we are but a tiny part in a massive universe. Life has been ongoing for longer than we can imagine and will continue. We think of ourselves as the center of the universe but we are absolutely not. Once we recognize our total dependence on something greater than us, we are FREE.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks for sharing that, Korie! 🙏💚

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Lauren Osornio's avatar

Nature is indifferent. I love that. It makes perfect sense to me. The wind is just the wind and it blows the way it blows. There is no judgment in nature. A storm happens, the sun shines. Only we humans give our meaning to it. What a relief. No one is angry. Love your writing, Don!

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Lauren. I love it when my words find unique homes in the minds of sensitive and receptive people like you! 🙏💚

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John J OConnell IV's avatar

"It is we who anthropomorphize nature." This is so true and yet we, at least here in the US, keep getting farther and farther away from nature. Honestly, are you really experiencing nature while trail running or mountain biking or are you just performing an activity IN nature. People dont know where milk comes from or eggs or meat. Is that why we anthropomorphize?

One other thing, I'm reading "Inner Excellence" by Jim Murphy. He talks about self centeredness but not how you might think about it. He explains how it leads to fear and fear destroys your ability to perform. All because your brain is trying to protect you from harm.

This was another great piece Don.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, John! (I replied further on your re-stack)

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Füsun Aydın's avatar

I loved this, Don, it was very grounding. I've made a conscious effort to let go of the things that keep me from living to my fullest. Writing is a key part of that. Thank you.

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Don Boivin's avatar

I’m so glad,Füsun. Me too! Thank you! 🙏💚

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Mary Braun Bates, MD's avatar

Well said.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Mary!

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Mary Braun Bates, MD's avatar

I post my favorite articles from SS on FB for my friends who don’t ‘stack. This article is already there.

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Don Boivin's avatar

That’s wonderful, thank you, Mary! 🙏💚

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Daniel Appleton's avatar

You should read Dr. Lewis Thomas' Lives of a Cell. I THINK that it favored the Gaia Hypothesis before almost anyone else did. I misplaced my copy, BUT I remember large parts of it. We're organelles in a much larger scale organism.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Sounds pretty interesting, thanks, Daniel!

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Daniel Appleton's avatar

I just wish that I could find that copy. I also had a dog - eared, bookmarked copy of the Tao Te Ching that followed me home from college 😆🏫even though I have Ursula K. LeGuin's translation via Amazon.

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Don Boivin's avatar

I perused LeGuin’s translation of the Tao te Ching at the bookstore, and it was… okay. I have two other copies at home; swing by and I’ll lend you one haha! But I do want to get the translation by Stephen Mitchell one of these days.

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Daniel Appleton's avatar

I'll see your copy & raise you a Lin Yutang. There's a name that you don't hear much.

My Evangelical country cousin has ordered me a lot of books that might as well be written in MARTIAN or KLINGON as far as she's concerned ! 👽🚀🛸

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Debbie Rees's avatar

Wonderful, thank you. What a beautiful reminder _()_

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Debbie. 🙏💚

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Finding Grace's avatar

Unless a grain of wheat fall into the ground, it shall remain a grain of wheat. But if it falls and dies, then it bears much fruit. (John 12:24) :)

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Don Boivin's avatar

There’s a lot of beautiful symbolism in that quote, Grace. Thank you! 🙏💚

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Justin Santorno's avatar

How do you see the difference between ‘me’ and ‘I’? The ‘me’ being the thought processes that shape our identity, and the ‘I’ being the observer when we step back from ourselves. Do you see this ‘I’ as less extinguishable?

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Don Boivin's avatar

Well, you answered your own question, didn’t you, Justin? 🤣

I’m not sure I do see a difference between me and I.

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Kaspa Thompson (they/them)'s avatar

Really nice piece, thank you.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Kaspa. I really appreciate that and I’m so grateful that you subscribed! 🙏💚

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Anna Rose's avatar

Don this is just beautiful. When my father was diagnosed with terminal leukaemia, I felt too young to loose my father. I remember going down to the sea and watching the sunrise. The gulls flew through the sky, there was silence. It felt as if life spoke to me. Revealed to me one moment that was worth all the others. Some days I still capture that essence, other days I don’t. There is such beauty in what you have said and about the character in Albert Camus’ book. We must die to live. Thank you Don. I enjoyed this.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Anna. Thank you for sharing your powerful and solemn moment of presence with me. 🙏💚

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