I'm amazed by your ability to write such profound essays inspired by your everyday life. It truly requires a lot of wisdom to observe and reflect on your emotions in the way that you've expressed here. Always so refreshing, and so many wonderful perspectives that we all can learn so much from. Your essays always leave me with a smile and many thoughts to ponder upon and I think it's wonderful!
Sonaakshi, this is such a lovely and thoughtful comment, thank you! A response like this is not only flattering, but it teaches me how to be a better correspondent myself. I want to make others feel good the way you’ve made me feel good! 💕💕🙏
I hope you don’t mind if I re-stack your comment. Thank you!
I have a friend whose word last year was "Unlearn." she wanted to unlearn all the labels and expectations that society had put upon her and embark on finding out for herself what she truly wanted. I find that inspiration and brave.
I particularly loved that you referred to Carlo Rovelli, whose books I adore!
It is good to remember, that even at an advanced age we grow and develop and get closer to who we really are. As I just wrote in my recent Substack article: the purpose of life is not performing but unfolding. Life peels us like we were onions, layer after layer until only the core is left. And what is left is real love (as Sharon Salzberg defines it).
Don, I share your view about self- knowledge, or self- awareness, or self-actualization. All different terms with slightly different meanings.
But what struck me most about what you shared today is this: the necessity of emptiness. We cannot constantly be filled with thoughts, ideas, or insights. To begin to know oneself, we need to be free from these impediments and distractions. Not easy, of course. Not always practical or doable. But important to allow ourselves to surrender to the moment we find ourselves in and try to attune ourselves to whatever that moment is revealing.
I agree that self-knowledge is not selfish, especially since the lack of it seems, to me, to contribute widely to the thoughtless nature of many people. How can I be considerate of others and respect all living things if I haven't attended to the parts of me that are weary, exasperated, frustrated, hungry, broken?
Peace comes from within. Then it radiates into the world.
Finally, I think a lot about the role of humility, as well. Being able to view myself as no different from the person next to me has made a profound impact on how I treat others, in my ability to be open to their experiences and perspectives and opinions.
Thank you again for another thought-provoking essay!
Interesting you mention Krishnamurti. Just this week my Hobbit pulled that same book off the shelf and left it in the kitchen counter for me to peruse whilst eating lunch one day. What a coincidence.
I’ve been trying on the practice lately of saying “thank you” to myself when I catch myself erring, or when I feel insulted. Recently I had a couple trolls comment on my notes and I accepted their comments as acknowledgements. Yes, I’m human. I made that mistake and I’m grateful I’m growing from it.
Humility is a profound experience when fully embraced.
That is a coincidence! But then, I’m not surprised that Neil likes that book.
I’m sorry you had to deal with some trolls. Yucky! I’ve been very lucky, and have only had to deal with a couple of really negative comments over the past year.
Thank you for saying that. It’s been an interesting process to watch myself fully accept and appreciate my human “mis” steps and not think of them as missing at all, but about learning and growing.
My husband is a devout student of the Tao. He quotes it often in our daily world. I myself have not studied it directly, but when he spouts it, I always agree.
And as my friend Don Boivin just mentioned, if you are in the slightest bit interested in reading how one humble and open-hearted man has integrated The Tao, the iChing, and other Eastern philosophies into his daily life, Diamond-Michael Scott, of The Chocolate Taoist Substack, writes eloquently on it. I learn with every one of his posts.
I was inspired to write a poem from this line : As Krishnamurti mentions in the chapter quoted above, “...we are living things, always moving, flowing, never resting.”
Another quote came to mind as well: “I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.” John O'Donohue
That’s beautiful, Sam! Thank you for sharing your new poem with me. (By the way, I keep a copy of John O’Donoghue’s Anam Cara on my bedside table. I love that quote!)
"I have to remove these unhelpful compulsions, by acknowledging the insecurity behind them, before I can freely head in the direction my essence would guide me."
In particular I love this line. I've long been a fan of peeling back another layer of the onion and you describe the WHY behind that nicely.
As my kiddos were growing up I often reminded them that they were not what they did, rather who they were is the way they did anything.
When clients would come to me searching for how to make meaning of their life, and what job to do, we’d first begin by examining what mattered to them in a core level, then we’d be curious about how that expressed itself in their daily life, and finally move on to how to BE that no matter what job they did. In the end, they would come to the same conclusion I had, that it doesn’t make any difference what you do to earn money to live on, HOW you do it is what matters.
It didn’t always give them answers, but we had some fabulous interactions.
Oh, and when those weird thoughts (I call them brain farts) pop into my head (like being critical) I swiftly remind myself that’s not who I am, and I purposely create a kind thought. (Easier said than done sometimes)
Don I just love reading your words and thoughts so much! I have been a long-time student of Buddhism (long for me! I’m 33 and started learning and became interested in it about 10 years ago) and I always find myself nodding along in agreement with what you’re reflecting on. Often “yes!” And “oh I love how he wrote that” anytime I read your words. Thank you sharing 🤍🙏🏼
I liked this post. I need to get back into the habit of meditating daily, I use to do so each night before settling down and going to sleep but started to feel so tired that I forget.
A question comes to mind when I read your wise words, Don: do we need to understand why things (including ourselves) are what they are? Or could we maybe just accept that they’re there and let them be?
Hi, Joris. One of my favorite new discoveries is the writer Robert Saltzman, who is on Substack and wrote a book called The Ten Thousand Things. He is of the firm opinion that it is a waste of time to trouble ourselves with the Big Unanswerables, like the existence of a higher power, immortality, eternity, life after death, souls, etc.
Asking questions like these is like asking if there are snooblidygoobes on the planet Woobidoo 3-million light-years away.
I agree with Robert that accepting that we are here and that THIS is what it's like is the best way to keep ourselves sane. (And what a huge relief to just shrug off all those questions and searching, letting them just drift away with the wind)
Not at all! Our minds are right here, working themselves silly day and night. We have privileged access. Why not figure out what the heck they’re doing and why?
One of the most unexpected yet delightful discoveries of the spiritual and healing path has been that to know myself is to know everyone…beyond beliefs, opinions, views, race, religion, country or personal circumstances.
To know everyone and why we behave as we do allows for understanding over confusion, compassion over anger, and intimacy over separation.
Thanks, Ryan. When you had commented on a Note of mine the other day in a similar vein, I already had this post prepared to publish, so I figured you’d like it. 😊
I'm amazed by your ability to write such profound essays inspired by your everyday life. It truly requires a lot of wisdom to observe and reflect on your emotions in the way that you've expressed here. Always so refreshing, and so many wonderful perspectives that we all can learn so much from. Your essays always leave me with a smile and many thoughts to ponder upon and I think it's wonderful!
Sonaakshi, this is such a lovely and thoughtful comment, thank you! A response like this is not only flattering, but it teaches me how to be a better correspondent myself. I want to make others feel good the way you’ve made me feel good! 💕💕🙏
I hope you don’t mind if I re-stack your comment. Thank you!
I'm glad to hear that and yes of course you can restack it if you like. I always learn so much from your writings...Thank you! 🙏🙂
I have a friend whose word last year was "Unlearn." she wanted to unlearn all the labels and expectations that society had put upon her and embark on finding out for herself what she truly wanted. I find that inspiration and brave.
I agree; that’s very inspiring! Thanks, Elizabeth. 🙏💚
I love "unlearn" as a word of the year! Very powerful.
yes agreed
This is an inspiring article - thank you!
I particularly loved that you referred to Carlo Rovelli, whose books I adore!
It is good to remember, that even at an advanced age we grow and develop and get closer to who we really are. As I just wrote in my recent Substack article: the purpose of life is not performing but unfolding. Life peels us like we were onions, layer after layer until only the core is left. And what is left is real love (as Sharon Salzberg defines it).
Happy year 2025 to you <3
Thank you for this lovely comment, Kati! I am on the final chapter of “The Order of Time,” and at some point will seek another of Rovelli’s books.
Sharon Saltzberg is also great!
Don, I share your view about self- knowledge, or self- awareness, or self-actualization. All different terms with slightly different meanings.
But what struck me most about what you shared today is this: the necessity of emptiness. We cannot constantly be filled with thoughts, ideas, or insights. To begin to know oneself, we need to be free from these impediments and distractions. Not easy, of course. Not always practical or doable. But important to allow ourselves to surrender to the moment we find ourselves in and try to attune ourselves to whatever that moment is revealing.
I agree that self-knowledge is not selfish, especially since the lack of it seems, to me, to contribute widely to the thoughtless nature of many people. How can I be considerate of others and respect all living things if I haven't attended to the parts of me that are weary, exasperated, frustrated, hungry, broken?
Peace comes from within. Then it radiates into the world.
Finally, I think a lot about the role of humility, as well. Being able to view myself as no different from the person next to me has made a profound impact on how I treat others, in my ability to be open to their experiences and perspectives and opinions.
Thank you again for another thought-provoking essay!
And thank you, Jeannie, for this thoughtful answer. I hope lots of my readers enjoy it as much as I did! 🙏💚
Don, This piece is loaded with thoughts to ponder. Thank you. D
Thanks, Dave! 🙏💚
Interesting you mention Krishnamurti. Just this week my Hobbit pulled that same book off the shelf and left it in the kitchen counter for me to peruse whilst eating lunch one day. What a coincidence.
I’ve been trying on the practice lately of saying “thank you” to myself when I catch myself erring, or when I feel insulted. Recently I had a couple trolls comment on my notes and I accepted their comments as acknowledgements. Yes, I’m human. I made that mistake and I’m grateful I’m growing from it.
Humility is a profound experience when fully embraced.
That is a coincidence! But then, I’m not surprised that Neil likes that book.
I’m sorry you had to deal with some trolls. Yucky! I’ve been very lucky, and have only had to deal with a couple of really negative comments over the past year.
I hope you’re enjoying Arizona!
I’ve only had a couple yucky comments in the last year as well. And SOOO many amazing ones.
I’ll send you pictures later. My parents have a really nice cactus in their front yard.
Excellent reflection, Teri. Thank you.
Thank you for saying that. It’s been an interesting process to watch myself fully accept and appreciate my human “mis” steps and not think of them as missing at all, but about learning and growing.
“Humility is a profound experience when fully embraced.”
THAT’s the Way of Water! That’s Tao! You’re a Taoist in real life—you just play human as a role. Amirite?
My husband is a devout student of the Tao. He quotes it often in our daily world. I myself have not studied it directly, but when he spouts it, I always agree.
Michael-Diamond Scott writes about the Tao on a daily basis.
Nah, you’re a Taoist. I can tell.
And as my friend Don Boivin just mentioned, if you are in the slightest bit interested in reading how one humble and open-hearted man has integrated The Tao, the iChing, and other Eastern philosophies into his daily life, Diamond-Michael Scott, of The Chocolate Taoist Substack, writes eloquently on it. I learn with every one of his posts.
I was inspired to write a poem from this line : As Krishnamurti mentions in the chapter quoted above, “...we are living things, always moving, flowing, never resting.”
Another quote came to mind as well: “I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.” John O'Donohue
My poem:
I am a river
always flowing,
bending,
surprised at the mystery revealed
just around each bend.
In wonder and awe
at how I just keep going.
You can't catch me,
only attempt to contain me.
Your only recourse is to spill,
returning me to my home,
or take me in—
which you'll do anyway.
You need me.
Change is my only constant,
yet I am reliable.
You rely on me
for your life.
Never resting,
coming into new forms of being
with each season's shift,
I am not who I was yesterday.
Today,
I am brand new.
That’s beautiful, Sam! Thank you for sharing your new poem with me. (By the way, I keep a copy of John O’Donoghue’s Anam Cara on my bedside table. I love that quote!)
Don, this piece was amazing.
"I have to remove these unhelpful compulsions, by acknowledging the insecurity behind them, before I can freely head in the direction my essence would guide me."
In particular I love this line. I've long been a fan of peeling back another layer of the onion and you describe the WHY behind that nicely.
Thank you so much, Parker. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment, and I'm so glad you liked the essay!
"Ogres are like onions. They have layers."
We are all our own form of Ogre when it comes to peeling our onion. I suspect yours is a Vidalia 😉
"America's favorite onion," I just read on the internet. I'll take it! 😅❤️
Don Boivin: "America's favorite onion."
Ha ha, thank you, Sam. The Vidalia is a favorite because of its sweet taste. We have to get that in there somewhere lol! 😆
Exactly!
You have good heart and it shows each time you write.
Humility is the base of our castle.
Thank you, Yannis! 🙏💚
As my kiddos were growing up I often reminded them that they were not what they did, rather who they were is the way they did anything.
When clients would come to me searching for how to make meaning of their life, and what job to do, we’d first begin by examining what mattered to them in a core level, then we’d be curious about how that expressed itself in their daily life, and finally move on to how to BE that no matter what job they did. In the end, they would come to the same conclusion I had, that it doesn’t make any difference what you do to earn money to live on, HOW you do it is what matters.
It didn’t always give them answers, but we had some fabulous interactions.
Oh, and when those weird thoughts (I call them brain farts) pop into my head (like being critical) I swiftly remind myself that’s not who I am, and I purposely create a kind thought. (Easier said than done sometimes)
Nice, Teyani, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. 🙏💚
Don I just love reading your words and thoughts so much! I have been a long-time student of Buddhism (long for me! I’m 33 and started learning and became interested in it about 10 years ago) and I always find myself nodding along in agreement with what you’re reflecting on. Often “yes!” And “oh I love how he wrote that” anytime I read your words. Thank you sharing 🤍🙏🏼
That is a huge, huge compliment, thank you, Desirée. I'm touched. 🙏🩷
“So, who you were yesterday is not necessarily who you are today, or will be tomorrow.” Oh Don, these words! 🧡
🙂 Thank you, Noreen! 💚
I liked this post. I need to get back into the habit of meditating daily, I use to do so each night before settling down and going to sleep but started to feel so tired that I forget.
Thanks, Jo. 🙏💚
A question comes to mind when I read your wise words, Don: do we need to understand why things (including ourselves) are what they are? Or could we maybe just accept that they’re there and let them be?
Hi, Joris. One of my favorite new discoveries is the writer Robert Saltzman, who is on Substack and wrote a book called The Ten Thousand Things. He is of the firm opinion that it is a waste of time to trouble ourselves with the Big Unanswerables, like the existence of a higher power, immortality, eternity, life after death, souls, etc.
Asking questions like these is like asking if there are snooblidygoobes on the planet Woobidoo 3-million light-years away.
I agree with Robert that accepting that we are here and that THIS is what it's like is the best way to keep ourselves sane. (And what a huge relief to just shrug off all those questions and searching, letting them just drift away with the wind)
Damn, now you made me wonder if there are snooblidygoobes on Woobidoo …
Many thanks for the answer. I’m going to look up Robert Saltzman, seems like he’s got a lot I can learn from. Then again, who hasn’t :-)
So is trying to understand our motivation a Big Unanswerable?
Not at all! Our minds are right here, working themselves silly day and night. We have privileged access. Why not figure out what the heck they’re doing and why?
One of the most unexpected yet delightful discoveries of the spiritual and healing path has been that to know myself is to know everyone…beyond beliefs, opinions, views, race, religion, country or personal circumstances.
To know everyone and why we behave as we do allows for understanding over confusion, compassion over anger, and intimacy over separation.
May everyone know themselves intimately.
Thanks, Ryan. When you had commented on a Note of mine the other day in a similar vein, I already had this post prepared to publish, so I figured you’d like it. 😊
Ha, I sensed that. You were right, and I do like it.