That’s a big question, Brenda. Since I haven’t studied philosophy, I’m not sure how the “existentialist“ principles of freedom and responsibility differ from the regular principles.
I would say first, that we are not free, because we are restricted to acting within all the parameters that being human entails (we need to eat, we need to socialize, we need to feel accepted by the group….). And then I would say that most of us don’t realize how free we are.
In regards to responsibility, that’s harder to answer without a more specific question, but I will just say that I think responsibility toward our children is for the most part innate, so we don’t have to think of it as a responsibility, just follow our instincts and take good care of them.
I do think that a lot of people are neurotic around their own sense of responsibility because society has over-conditioned to them into a state of anxiety.
Lol, you see that this is a conversation we could go back-and-forth on for days!
And thank you for liking my song analogy. To be honest, that’s my favorite insight of the whole essay! 😊
I think Descartes had it wrong though. “I feel, therefore I am,” may be the more apropos saying. Not “Cogito, ergo sum,” but “Sentio, ergo sum.” The more I’ve practiced with this reframing, over years now, it’s made more sense. To feel is to be alive. To think…well, Don did a pretty good job at dismissing the body that thinks, yet believes they are somebody. In Don’s own reframing, maybe WE are the Universe’s way of feeling—maybe humans are its sense organs. Regardless, one can never know with absolute certainty.
I’ve never studied philosophy so I’ve never had a chance to express this before, but I’ve often thought that “I think, therefore I am” could mean two very different things:
1) Thinking is proof that I exist (existence is real)
2) I think myself into existence (existence is an illusion)
Fascinating! True enough- newborns feel more than think, and they certainly have a strong presence. At any rate, just being aware of your existence is to be. But then again, when we are anaesthetised for surgery, we are utterly unaware of our own existence. But I think I’ve gone off on a tangent.
I love the swerve into anesthesia. I think that’s the only way we can have an experience of death. Time doesn’t exist for us when we are fully anesthetized. (Anesthetized: the state of non-FEELING!). Death—the state of non-FEELING!
Thanks, Brenda. I will check out that Sartre. I also recently heard that Iris Murdoch has written a few books of philosophical inquiry. I was really into her novels for a while so I might check that out too.
Interestingly, I paused when I read that line too. “Being a tree with a brain.” My brain went one place further (after my years of realizing the Soul and wisdom of trees): I added the word “different” before brain. Just paraphrasing you, Don: “We are trees with different brains.”
Sorry to be irreverent, Brenda, but when you said you were a "tree nut" I imagined you hanging from the tip of a branch and then dropping to the ground! 🤣
You just mentioned a book that is incredibly dear to my heart. It’s one of the rare books I’ve gifted to others. And I’m a disciple of Dr. Wall Kimmerer. Heard her speak live upon the release of her new book: The Serviceberry.
Look at that! Two kindred souls just found each other here.
Oh i am jealous! My daughter gave me my copy. We are forever citing it to each other. A book that stays with you forever. I’ll look up Serviceberry, thanks for the heads-up!
Thanks Aleksander! I’m going to add “When my body started walking without asking” to my collection of reminders that my sense of self is just another song that I didn’t ask to hear. But I will continue to enjoy them both!
Dont tell! they'd banish us - you know!" --Dickinson
Thank you for sharing this poem from Dickinson. She is analyzed and broken down in text books, but when I sit with her poems I think to myself, "Ahhh, what a mystic."
As always, this is so beautifully written. I love how you have made the concept of non-self so easy to grasp. I agree with you that once one can grasp and accept this idea of non-self, life becomes easier to live, to bear. I particularly find your song analogy useful to me. Thanks, brother.
I think I recognized that she felt like an outsider, like I did. That she didn’t quite match with what I considered the rest of the world. I felt like we had solidarity. The name helps too!
That’s so nice, Emily. I was actually going to use that term, “outsider” when I asked, but I didn’t want to make or seem like I was making any assumptions. 😊💚
She has this poem about being outside looking in. Do you know the one? I have always kept the sentiment close to my heart, even though I don’t remember the exact poem.
I can’t remember that one, will have to think. I do like “I dwell in possibility,” which I’m sure I’ve used in my newsletter. I also have a book that gathers her notes and partial poems that she wrote on scraps of paper. I love these fragments too.
"Clinging is anxiety" hits home. I love the idea of being a tree with a brain! Trees being one of my favorite things, along with raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, and so many other miracles of this ordinary life. Thank you for writing your very accessible ideas on the self/nonself.
I am recently delving into independent arising, a fascinating mystery! Oh sweet mystery of life.
Thank you, Marilyn! Trees are one of my favorite things too; they thread through my writing right from my first Substack post a year and a half ago.
Though I don’t use the term interdependent co-arising often in my writing, it is certainly a main theme. The fact that we are all connected is undeniable. Sometimes, with childlike wonder, I think about the fact that the human beings on the other side of the world are structured in exactly the same way as I am, with two eyes, a nose and a mouth, 10 fingers, all the same organs, etc. How could that be possible? How could someone on the other side of the world be exactly like me? Obviously, we are one thing, or at least as closely related as possible, almost twins.
At other times, I think about the fact that I need to breathe air constantly, and I also need water and food and sunshine. Why do I need those things? Because they are the main ingredients in my creation. If that is not inter dependent co-arising, I don’t know what it is!
Thanks for raising the subject, Marilyn! I’m glad you find it as fascinating as I do. 🙏💚
I’m totally with you in this space, Don. The funny thing is that it was just my birthday, and people kept saying, “Let’s do whatever *you* want! Whatever makes you feel the most like *you*!” I was like, “Well, that’s very sweet and all, but also, and I know this is a little annoying, but from a certain Buddhist point of view, that’s pretty much the description of samsara…and really, the whole idea of birth and death is sort of questionable if you squint at it the right way…” So … we just went to the beach.
I’m very lucky to have friends who are patient with this sort of thing. ;)
Ha ha, yes, you can't always expect to exist with your friends within the context of Buddhist concepts. For instance, my wife finds no comfort whatsoever in the concept of "no-self," no matter how she views it, and even though she recognizes the ultimate truth in it. It simply does not help her to feel better about things that she's anxious or fearful about, and so she prefers not to think about it. (I don't blame her one bit, and I don't feel that she's maybe looking at it wrong or not seeing it fully; I just think people are different.)
Thanks for your comment, Ryan. Looking forward to seeing you Friday!
Don your thinking fascinates me. I'm so in this existential phase of my life so reads like this really speak to me. I would love to pick your brain one day! 😉🤗
Thank you, Sherry. I’ve actually been tossing around the idea of hosting some “chat” sessions where readers can ask me anything, but have hesitated for various reasons. Another option is to solicit questions and then choose one or two of them and provide some expanded answers as a post. (This is what George Saunders does for his writer’s craft posts). What do you think?
I think, therefore I am.
What do you make of the existentialist principles of freedom & responsibility?
I love the song analogy!
That’s a big question, Brenda. Since I haven’t studied philosophy, I’m not sure how the “existentialist“ principles of freedom and responsibility differ from the regular principles.
I would say first, that we are not free, because we are restricted to acting within all the parameters that being human entails (we need to eat, we need to socialize, we need to feel accepted by the group….). And then I would say that most of us don’t realize how free we are.
In regards to responsibility, that’s harder to answer without a more specific question, but I will just say that I think responsibility toward our children is for the most part innate, so we don’t have to think of it as a responsibility, just follow our instincts and take good care of them.
I do think that a lot of people are neurotic around their own sense of responsibility because society has over-conditioned to them into a state of anxiety.
Lol, you see that this is a conversation we could go back-and-forth on for days!
And thank you for liking my song analogy. To be honest, that’s my favorite insight of the whole essay! 😊
I think Descartes had it wrong though. “I feel, therefore I am,” may be the more apropos saying. Not “Cogito, ergo sum,” but “Sentio, ergo sum.” The more I’ve practiced with this reframing, over years now, it’s made more sense. To feel is to be alive. To think…well, Don did a pretty good job at dismissing the body that thinks, yet believes they are somebody. In Don’s own reframing, maybe WE are the Universe’s way of feeling—maybe humans are its sense organs. Regardless, one can never know with absolute certainty.
I’ve never studied philosophy so I’ve never had a chance to express this before, but I’ve often thought that “I think, therefore I am” could mean two very different things:
1) Thinking is proof that I exist (existence is real)
2) I think myself into existence (existence is an illusion)
Student as I am myself in philosophy myself, that feels right! (Ha! See what I did there?) I wonder if these, too, are true:
1) Feeling is proof that I exist.
2) I feel myself into existence. (Oh, that could be taken the wrong way. 🫢)
Fascinating! True enough- newborns feel more than think, and they certainly have a strong presence. At any rate, just being aware of your existence is to be. But then again, when we are anaesthetised for surgery, we are utterly unaware of our own existence. But I think I’ve gone off on a tangent.
I love the swerve into anesthesia. I think that’s the only way we can have an experience of death. Time doesn’t exist for us when we are fully anesthetized. (Anesthetized: the state of non-FEELING!). Death—the state of non-FEELING!
Cool!!!!
It resonates more deeply with me when said… “I am, therefore I think.”
Ah, that’s the fun of philosophy- you can go on for days! You might enjoy Sartre’s ‘Being and nothingness.’
I have to say being a tree with a brain is stellar too!
Thanks, Brenda. I will check out that Sartre. I also recently heard that Iris Murdoch has written a few books of philosophical inquiry. I was really into her novels for a while so I might check that out too.
Interestingly, I paused when I read that line too. “Being a tree with a brain.” My brain went one place further (after my years of realizing the Soul and wisdom of trees): I added the word “different” before brain. Just paraphrasing you, Don: “We are trees with different brains.”
Nice distinction! I’m a bit of a tree nut myself. One of the best discussions on their wisdom, to me, is Robin Wall Kimmerer’s Braiding Sweetgrass.
Sorry to be irreverent, Brenda, but when you said you were a "tree nut" I imagined you hanging from the tip of a branch and then dropping to the ground! 🤣
Hahaha! I love it! How did i miss that pun? 🤣
You just mentioned a book that is incredibly dear to my heart. It’s one of the rare books I’ve gifted to others. And I’m a disciple of Dr. Wall Kimmerer. Heard her speak live upon the release of her new book: The Serviceberry.
Look at that! Two kindred souls just found each other here.
I'm going to check out that book. I've heard others quote from it on Substack.
Oh i am jealous! My daughter gave me my copy. We are forever citing it to each other. A book that stays with you forever. I’ll look up Serviceberry, thanks for the heads-up!
You’re not the singer, you’re the song. And the moment the music stops? You’re still here—just quieter.
Self is just what happens when thoughts start narrating. You didn’t choose this playlist. You just hit play.
Dickinson saw through it. So did Mary Magdalene. So did your body when it started walking without asking.
You’re not in control—and that’s the good news.
—Virgin Monk Boy
Thanks Aleksander! I’m going to add “When my body started walking without asking” to my collection of reminders that my sense of self is just another song that I didn’t ask to hear. But I will continue to enjoy them both!
"I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you - Nobody - too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Dont tell! they'd banish us - you know!" --Dickinson
Thank you for sharing this poem from Dickinson. She is analyzed and broken down in text books, but when I sit with her poems I think to myself, "Ahhh, what a mystic."
Thanks, Corie! 🙏💚
Don,
As always, this is so beautifully written. I love how you have made the concept of non-self so easy to grasp. I agree with you that once one can grasp and accept this idea of non-self, life becomes easier to live, to bear. I particularly find your song analogy useful to me. Thanks, brother.
Thank you so much, Craig, I really appreciate it! 🙏💚
Love that poem, Don. My mom used to read it to my sister and I, an "admiring Bog":).
Thanks, Emily! Did you feel a special affinity because she’s your namesake, or did you just recognize that she shared your depth and inquisitiveness?
I think I recognized that she felt like an outsider, like I did. That she didn’t quite match with what I considered the rest of the world. I felt like we had solidarity. The name helps too!
That’s so nice, Emily. I was actually going to use that term, “outsider” when I asked, but I didn’t want to make or seem like I was making any assumptions. 😊💚
Ha! I appreciate your desire to not make the assumption. And also you are very correct!
She has this poem about being outside looking in. Do you know the one? I have always kept the sentiment close to my heart, even though I don’t remember the exact poem.
I can’t remember that one, will have to think. I do like “I dwell in possibility,” which I’m sure I’ve used in my newsletter. I also have a book that gathers her notes and partial poems that she wrote on scraps of paper. I love these fragments too.
Beautiful reflection on the transient "self," Don. This illusory self feels a little more at ease thanks to your words.
Thank you, James. That pleases me so much!
Thanks for the mention, Don. I like your essay.
Warm wishes,
Robert
Thanks, Robert. 🙏💚
Don, I love the thought of being like a song. D
I am the sum total of the memories, personalities, lives & life energies of those that came before, spun into something unique & not unique.
The essence of Neanderthal & Cro - Magnon grunting, chanting then singing into my DNA
intelligence, carbon - based, now doing an internet Encyclopedia Britanica search for what it means or what it doesn't mean.
Clear as creme of RNA.
"Clinging is anxiety" hits home. I love the idea of being a tree with a brain! Trees being one of my favorite things, along with raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, and so many other miracles of this ordinary life. Thank you for writing your very accessible ideas on the self/nonself.
I am recently delving into independent arising, a fascinating mystery! Oh sweet mystery of life.
Thank you, Marilyn! Trees are one of my favorite things too; they thread through my writing right from my first Substack post a year and a half ago.
Though I don’t use the term interdependent co-arising often in my writing, it is certainly a main theme. The fact that we are all connected is undeniable. Sometimes, with childlike wonder, I think about the fact that the human beings on the other side of the world are structured in exactly the same way as I am, with two eyes, a nose and a mouth, 10 fingers, all the same organs, etc. How could that be possible? How could someone on the other side of the world be exactly like me? Obviously, we are one thing, or at least as closely related as possible, almost twins.
At other times, I think about the fact that I need to breathe air constantly, and I also need water and food and sunshine. Why do I need those things? Because they are the main ingredients in my creation. If that is not inter dependent co-arising, I don’t know what it is!
Thanks for raising the subject, Marilyn! I’m glad you find it as fascinating as I do. 🙏💚
I’m totally with you in this space, Don. The funny thing is that it was just my birthday, and people kept saying, “Let’s do whatever *you* want! Whatever makes you feel the most like *you*!” I was like, “Well, that’s very sweet and all, but also, and I know this is a little annoying, but from a certain Buddhist point of view, that’s pretty much the description of samsara…and really, the whole idea of birth and death is sort of questionable if you squint at it the right way…” So … we just went to the beach.
I’m very lucky to have friends who are patient with this sort of thing. ;)
Ha ha, yes, you can't always expect to exist with your friends within the context of Buddhist concepts. For instance, my wife finds no comfort whatsoever in the concept of "no-self," no matter how she views it, and even though she recognizes the ultimate truth in it. It simply does not help her to feel better about things that she's anxious or fearful about, and so she prefers not to think about it. (I don't blame her one bit, and I don't feel that she's maybe looking at it wrong or not seeing it fully; I just think people are different.)
Thanks for your comment, Ryan. Looking forward to seeing you Friday!
I think my husband’s in the same boat! :)
Haha 😆
Nowbody’s Brother^^^^
Love
when I stumble into your words.
Thank you, Anna!
Don your thinking fascinates me. I'm so in this existential phase of my life so reads like this really speak to me. I would love to pick your brain one day! 😉🤗
Thank you, Sherry. I’ve actually been tossing around the idea of hosting some “chat” sessions where readers can ask me anything, but have hesitated for various reasons. Another option is to solicit questions and then choose one or two of them and provide some expanded answers as a post. (This is what George Saunders does for his writer’s craft posts). What do you think?
I love both ideas! I have another one which I will DM you about.🙂↔️
Sure!
Cool, me too!
Thanks for reading, Sarah! 🙏💚
I’m nobody too. But with its unique twist which is quite the entertainment when I just let it be.
Seven decades in, I looked back at all the formative particulars, and all the stories of how they have played out to date, and had a little epiphany:
Given all the givens woven the way they were, I could not possibly have been any other version of nobody than this one.
So my new driving curiosity: What exactly was consciousness up to here? And while we’re still at it, what more can this momentary nobody bring it now?
Thanks for your writings.
Thank you so much, Mary.
Realizing that you could not have been anyone or anything other than what you were certainly is an epiphany! Liberating. :-)