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Perry J. Greenbaum 🇨🇦 🦜's avatar

Humans have always tried to find ways and means to feel superior. Before, during agricultural times, it was the number of cattle and slaves you owned. Today it is still chiefly about ownership of things: properties, vehicles and credentials. Doctor. Lawyer. Professor.

Ours is an achievement-directed society, which might explain why the focus is on ownership. You are speaking about men here. So as a man I long ago refused to see my value or worth connected to my job or my education. That makes humans a commodity. I am not No one should be.

We are humans part of the natural world, and the more we understand this the easier it becomes to see ownership and credentials as obstacles to becoming who we are.

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Don Boivin's avatar

That is a very good point, Perry. If you yourself fall for the achievement-based value system, then you are agreeing (unintentionally) to be a commodity.

Thank you, Perry.

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Perry J. Greenbaum 🇨🇦 🦜's avatar

You are very welcome. 🕊🦜

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Maia Duerr's avatar

have you read the book Caste, by Isabel Wilkerson? A really fascinating exploration of this human tendency to feel superior and to structure it into social systems.

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Don Boivin's avatar

I think it's time to read that! I've put it off because, though I enjoyed her first book very much, The Warmth of Other Suns, it was a long read! Your recommendation inspires me to dig in! Especially as it is a subject close to my heart

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Maia Duerr's avatar

So even before you read the book, I'd suggest watching the recent movie that was inspired by it: https://youtu.be/9mOrCJsXIkY?si=AwB9FcGGvga7a9Ql

It's amazing, and a heartfelt way to enter into the themes of the book (which is also a long read).

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Perry J. Greenbaum 🇨🇦 🦜's avatar

No, but I have read reviews on it and the film about the life of Isabel Wilkerson, Origins. There are many ways that people throughout history use to feel superior. Caste and skin colour is the most obvious; there is also the use of economic and social classes; there is the barrier of education; there are religious barriers; there are political barriers; and more recently, food barriers, i.e., vegan vs. omnivore.

The irony of it all is that all of these barriers and obstacles, including the ones people fight over the most, are all human-made constructs to feel superior. There is, for example, only one race, the human race.

Homo sapiens are one species out of approx 8 million on Earth. Time for us to show some humility and stop acting like we are superior. We're not.

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Maia Duerr's avatar

the book is well worth the read, if you have time and interest.

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Perry J. Greenbaum 🇨🇦 🦜's avatar

It sounds like a book written with intelligence, passion and good intent. Even so, I have read so much about human affairs in my life that I am now taking a different path, one that focuses on harmony with myself and with Nature. My reading and viewing interests are chiefly about birds, beavers and other non-human species, whose lives are fascinating.

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Nature 🌲's avatar

In all applications that ask for race I answer HUMAN! 😉

This physicist 👨🏻‍🔬 talks about human behavior of superiority. And ends his discussion saying, we need to learn how to cooperate more. Because competition will cause us to destroy each other. Most people believe we are separate instead of ONE. Top Physicist: “Science & Spirituality Merge in this New Theory of Consciousness” | Federico Faggin

https://youtu.be/d6NHRB5V1eE?si=dx6ZDSCDtZEeBVnO

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sol s⊙therland 🔸's avatar

Perry, those are valid points and you've touched on a profound point about how societal values and personal identity intersect. Now I must say it's admirable that you've chosen to define your worth independently of external achievements and possessions. This perspective seems like it could lead to more authentic connections and a deeper understanding of oneself.

Just curious, how has this approach influenced your relationships and interactions with others, Perry?

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Perry J. Greenbaum 🇨🇦 🦜's avatar

The answer to that can be found in reading my.posts. There is no short answer.

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Don Boivin's avatar

But thank you for asking, sol. Your curiosity is admirable. 🙏

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Sarah Howard Lapine's avatar

Integration is a word that keeps surfacing in my mind these days, and I feel like this essay speaks to that; integration of experiences into a deeper understanding that serves us and others in a beautiful way. Sometimes I think I am quite slow to integrate the lessons as they unfold, but I keep coming back to trust in the timing of things.

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Don Boivin's avatar

You're right, that is a meaningful word and concept. It explains why we can be exposed to life truths early on but still go for so many years not really making use of those lessons, continuing to make mistakes, absorb new experiences, learn a little bit at a time.

I think what I'm really doing in my newsletter is mining those early lessons and then examining how they were slowly—ever so slowly—integrated into my world view and competence as a human being.

Thank you for this perspective, Sarah!

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Corie Feiner's avatar

Integration -- thank you for bring this up. Such a good point.

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TheUltraContemplative's avatar

Beautiful, heartfelt story, Don. Thank you for be so open. I worked at an oil refinery for 34 years, and loved it until the last two years when I became a supervisor. Ironically, my dad use to quietly jab me about my "blue collar job" which provided myself and my family a very comfortable and privileged life for many years. I hated the politics and brown nosing of management and longed for my blue collar days. And I just wanted to add that it was a note on Substack of yours that led me to subscribing to Mike's Substack. Thanks again, Don.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you! I'm sorry, it's so hard to remember the names of those whose profiles don't include them. Is it Steve? I really appreciate your sharing this. Our dad's opinions and comments can really get under the skin and stay there, right? My dad got me in the carpenter's union. I stayed for two year but didn't like it (including the politics; I once got yelled at by a laborer for grabbing a shovel to spread a little dirt. "You're taking food out of my children's mouths," he said).

Thanks for being here, my friend!

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TheUltraContemplative's avatar

No worries, Don. You're right, it is Steve. I was in a union for years and like everything else in life, there's good and there's bad. I remember being told to leave a little trash behind on a job (I was an instrument/electrician) so the laborers would have work. Lol, the UltraContemplative moniker is a throwback to a blog I used to write and carried over a few followers here.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Wow, this is terrific, Peter. Thanks for sharing this with me. Nice to meet you! I wouldn’t call that diddling, I would call it living!

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Lisa's avatar

Don,

Thank you for sharing your humanity and Mike’s beautiful poem.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you as well, Lisa. I really appreciate your being here! 💚

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Joy's avatar

What a wonderful piece of writing. I hope you got access to your children after your return. It is so painful to be alienated. An experience I’m still trying to heal from and let them go. As a new subscriber, I haven’t read anything of your work except comments and notes, and then to have my first email from you include my favorite subject-Mike! What a surprise! He’s my first subscriber (that wasn’t a friend or family member) and holds a very dear place in my heart ❤️ as he supports and lifts me in my grief and writing. He’s a good ol’ guy-for sure! Looking forward to reading more from you. Blessings my friend 💕💖❤️❣️

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Joy. It’s a great pleasure to have you here! 🩷🙂

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Corie Feiner's avatar

Healing can be such an elusive path of so many set backs and leaps forward. Sending you love and light.

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Joy's avatar

Thank you 🙌🏻🙏🏻 Healing is elusive, 2 steps forward, 1 step back. A path, that seems to keep lengthening. I appreciate your words, kindness, care, support and love 💖❤️❣️ Blessings to you!🌞💖

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Corie Feiner's avatar

🙏🏻

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Maia Duerr's avatar

What a lovely meditation on friendship, diversity, common humanity, and causes and conditions. It's so wonderful that you and Mike found each other (through Substack!) to explore what a deep level of friendship feels like. Thank you for yet another insightful reflection, Don!

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Maia! 💚

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Robin van Gammeren's avatar

I can really see the care and deliberation you put into your writing. Absolutely beautiful. And that poem is just lovely.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Robin! 💚

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SydneyMichalski🌿NatureMoments's avatar

"...it is not true that one life, one person, is superior to any other."

The natural pull is so strong to assess superiority based on visual cues tied to a culture of material stratification. Suit = “successful”; expensive car = “important”; rich people = “benefactors.“ For as much time as we spend sagely recognizing that “money can’t buy happiness” it’s wild that this intrinsic tendency remains so strong over time!

Can you imagine what kind of world it would be if most people, most of the time, assessed superiority based on traits of empathy, compassion, thoughtfulness? If someone’s going to have a superiority complex it’d be nice if it was at least over something that was actually socially beneficial!🤣

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Sydney. I replied on Substack share. Loved your post today! 💚

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Corie Feiner's avatar

Maybe as you write this, you are imagining it into being... I hope so. When I come across threads like this of humans being so human, I start to feel hopeful that there is a critical mass of uplifted consciousness that will move us forward.

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SydneyMichalski🌿NatureMoments's avatar

The nice things is, any efforts in that direction are already an improvement :)

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, Corie. That sounds really nice!

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Thanks for your latest lovely wisdom, Don. When I was in my mid-thirties I decided it was time to stop roaming around and get a proper job, do the things that grownups do (it didn’t last long!) and I started working as a communications manager for Microsoft. One of the women I worked with, who was quite a bit younger, had graduated from Oxford and I felt intimidated and that she was better than me, who had left school at 16 with barely any qualifications. When I told my husband he said, quite rightly, she’s not better just had a different kind of life.

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Don Boivin's avatar

It's amazing how a simple twist of perspective can make all the difference, and yet we can go for so many years without hearing the words we need to hear!

Thanks, Amanda! 💚

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Corie Feiner's avatar

"...she’s not better just had a different kind of life..." That is profound.

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sol s⊙therland 🔸's avatar

Amanda, what a valuable insight from your husband indeed. It's a great reminder that different paths can lead to different kinds of success and that no one path is inherently better than another. I find that it’s wonderful that you had the courage to step into a new role and challenge those feelings of intimidation.

Just curious, how did that experience at Microsoft influence your views on education and career paths?

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Amanda Saint's avatar

Hi Sol, it was valuable. And a long time ago and I’ve since come to recognise nobody is better or worse than anyone. As for Microsoft, it wasn’t a very pleasant experience working there! Very competitive and I was expected to be available on email/phone at all times. I worked there for 18 months. I’ve been self employed and working at home for 14 years now and Microsoft was my penultimate job as an employee. Academia is not my thing either and I started a degree in Creative Writing and Literature but found it formulaic and boring so stopped half way through! Despite this, I have a successful creative business I started in 2012 and have written and published 3 novels so far. The mainstream route is not the only route!

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Don Boivin's avatar

That's for sure, Amanda! I also have been self-employed for many years; and not as an entrepreneur building a big successful firm or anything either; just me and my truck, doing small remodeling jobs.

Everyone has a different temperament, and like you say, Amanda, the mainstream route is not the only route!

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Elizabeth Bobrick's avatar

The shame of not leaving is indeed another story. What a beautiful essay. Our messy and sacred lives….

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Elizabeth! 💚 (that would make a great substack title: "Our Messy and Sacred Lives" lol

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Elizabeth Bobrick's avatar

I call dibs on that 😂

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sol s⊙therland 🔸's avatar

Indeed, Elizabeth. Indeed.

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Corie Feiner's avatar

Thank you for introducing me to Mike's poetry!

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Mike Speriosu's avatar

So grateful for you to read, Corie!

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Don Boivin's avatar

I'm glad you like it! 🙂

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Mo Issa's avatar

Thank you, Don, for this incredible story! Mike sounds like an amazing friend – someone who reminds us that despite our differences, we're all on this journey together.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thanks, Mo. you’re right about that; we’re all on this journey together!

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James Don BlueWolf's avatar

A welcome read with morning coffee... thanks

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you, James! ☕️

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Spiritual Entertainer's avatar

It's amazing how we're physical different beings, and yet somehow One Being with the same emotions, feelings, compulsive behaviours, and thought process, one shared human experience no matter where one comes from, economic status, gender, age and race.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Yes, I think about that a lot. Even physically. It helps me understand we are all part of one whole when I think about the fact that we all have eyes, we all have the same number of fingers and toes, our hearts beat and our lungs expand and our nerves send messages to and from our brains. Wow! We are one! (Sometimes I'll even look at an animal, a bird or a squirrel, say, and think about how their eyes are built and work the same way as mine, and realize how related we are, how we come from the same source. Amazing!)

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Spiritual Entertainer's avatar

Exactly, we're actually just one Being expressing itself in a multiplicity of life forms. Got an article I think you might be interested in checking out.

https://beyondtimeandspace.substack.com/p/living-in-the-eternal-now?r=27vu72

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you!

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Kim Nelson's avatar

I'm enamored with Mike Speriosu too! And this essay, revealing so much about you both, is deep and open-hearted while it illustrates our shared humanness and offers a wonderful example of learning to accept and love one's own dark and light.

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Don Boivin's avatar

Thank you so much, Kim! This is a gracious and kind comment that warms my heart. 💚

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