Thank you Don. You know what I think I really love about your writing???...I think it is the practical builder in you...no fuss, measure twice cut once, don't do it fancy if you can do it well...etc etc...you get the drift. Thank you, thank you. Ian. PS: I just heard Rupert Spira say recently..."enlightenment is overrated". Kind of fits some of what you say. Go well Don. Love and Blessings to you. Ian
This has helped me to realize that having thoughts during meditation does not mean I have failed in my meditation. I just have to not take myself so seriously. The mind thinks. That's what it does. Big deal. Thank you for posting this, Don. Have a great day!
Thank you for this Don. I intend on making meditation a practice and habit in 2025. I always felt like a failure when sitting. Because of that monkey mind madness. Even though, rationally, I knew that, well - our minds ARE full, and they call it mindFULLness after all. So how can this be wrong?
These words of yours comforted me: "We must rid ourselves of the belief that we can and must stop thinking in order to be good meditators."
Thank you so much for your comment, Allison. It's an honor and a privilege to be able to provide someone with a little bit of comfort and I'm very grateful to you for sharing your thoughts with me. I wish you the best! 🙏💚
Hi Allison. I hope your meditation practice is going well. I like your comment about failing when sitting. Keep in mind, the sitting itself can be the meditation. Like when you see a park bench and you sit. The point .. is to sit. 🙏🏻🥰🌈
An excellent text about meditation that I can personally relate to. What helped me the most was realizing that the anxiety and boredom from sitting too long are actually perfectly okay—they’re part of the package we call life. After some time, I naturally stopped thinking about when the bell would ring, and now, when I meditate, it often catches me by surprise. :)
This is such a needed post Don with great insights. I have found it extremely difficult and painstaking to sit cross legged for minutes on end. Movement meditation has saved my inner life. All the self awareness benefits I attain from meditating while running are absolutely essential to my well being. Your suggestions are so right on. Thanks for this Don.
I once hurt my back pretty severely from holding the meditation position too rigidly. It took weeks to heal and made me not want to do an all-day silent retreat ever again! That, I think, is what happens when you swallow concepts and ideas whole and then don’t listen to yourself and your own body!
Nowadays, I’m reading less mindfulness literature and just trying to be with and listen to my own consciousness of self and of reality!
I really appreciate you checking in, Steve. Happy holidays!
Don, as usual, I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s all about the experience and what that experience is doing with you. Crossing the point of thought to action is difficult at times but truly remarkable when it happens. Still in Hawaii so checking in is spotty😉
Your method of “laughing at the monkey mind” rather than resisting it is such a refreshing take.
Humor seems like an underrated tool in spiritual practice—it lightens the seriousness we often attach to self-improvement. Could humor itself be a form of mindfulness?
It feels like a way to defuse tension, making space for compassion and curiosity. Have you found that this lighthearted approach extends beyond meditation, perhaps helping you reframe challenges in everyday life with a sense of playfulness?
I always find such interesting things to consider when reading your essays. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
I absolutely think humor could and should be a form of mindfulness. In fact, I wonder if awakening to the true illusion of self could bring everyone to tears of laughter!
Thanks for your great comments and time, Alexander! 🙏💚
Great article Don. I just wish more people understood the health benefits reaped from regular meditation. Mostly I’ve found a division between people who meditate and those who do not (and are dismissive of it for whatever reason).
Thank you for the insightful article. Really helpful. If you don’t mind sharing, I am curious about the timing of your meditation sessions. Do you prefer evening meditation to morning meditation, or does evening just work better with your schedule? Do you meditate just before bed? I’ve been trying to build my meditation practice in the morning, and have been struggling with consistency. Thanks.
I'm happy to share, and thank you for reading and commenting!
I do not think nighttime is better for meditation than morning. Morning has some great benefits; mainly that it's a great way to start the day! But I, like you, have had a hard time making a consistent practice of a morning session. The day's duties call to me and it's harder to discipline myself to go upstairs and sit quietly. I find that I am just more relaxed in the evening, and able to give myself over to the time more easily and consistently. And that is more important, so I just don't worry about it, and meditate at night.
I have fallen into a routine of meditating at about 8:30 PM. It's a good, available time for me. Meditation is good, it's important to me, and it's made my life so much better. How I fit it into my schedule is less important. Whatever works!
Love this simple explaination of your practice. Its fun when you get to the point of restlessness, acknowledge it, but dont open your eyes, because well ... you still have 10 minutes left. 🙏🏻🥰🌈
I’ve recently been able to meditate almost everyday, a practice I’ve been trying to implement for many many years. Reading your words I just realised that when I pay attention to what I am feeling, I tend to focus on the physical aspects, like an itch or a pain, and try to ignore/surpass the other layer of feelings - emotions like impatience or anxiety. I find it takes effort to focus on that layer, but maybe I could be more mindful of it instead of trying to label it…
As for thoughts, I tend to see the observation of the monkey mind as a form of training the mind - which in itself is a goal. Should I let go of that goal?, is what I’m thinking now…
Thanks, Sara. When you talk about "observing the monkey mind" and "training the mind" I think what you're talking about is understanding. Understanding the mind, how it works, how and when thoughts arise and what that leads to, understanding how calming "runaway" thoughts can be relaxing and also open up some space for new understandings (insights). Is that correct? If so, I wholeheartedly agree with your goal. I am all about understanding! Other words for increased understanding are maturity, emotional maturity, and awakening.
I think that you can't actually "observe thoughts." The exact moment you think, "I'm thinking," THAT is your new thought. The technique is helpful though, because it puts you back in the present moment. And there is something peaceful and wondrous about the present moment that thoughts of the past and future don't have.
I love being present to the here and now because it has a way of reducing my anxiety and fear. It's calming and gives me a new perspective on life; one in which I realize that it is actually ALWAYS now, and the only time I feel that life sucks is when I'm THINKING about the past or future, not when those two concepts are upon me. When the future that I worry about is the present that I'm living, it's never as bad as I feared. So, it makes sense to put my focus on this, on what is, here and now.
I hope this helps, and thanks for reading and commenting! 🙏💚
«The exact moment you think, "I'm thinking," THAT is your new thought.» This is so true, and maybe understanding is a better word for it, if done with compassion and acceptance instead of judgement.
Very practical insight,Don! I appreciate it. I think Meditation, like other tools can be over spiritualized or elevated until they become almost unobtainable status symbols and certainly not all that helpful. I like what you do here thank you. As you well know,, a tool can be used many different ways to accomplish the same thing !🙏
Superb, Don!! Hopefully, someone new to meditation will read your fine post and take in its lessons.
Letting of letting go is the challenge and can only happen naturally. It's similar to wanting to stop wanting. These contradictory states are barriers to the simplicity of meditation. In fact, I no longer "meditate." I just sit quietly, come what may.
I'm glad you pointed out the error of the "thoughts are bad" idea. Thinking correctly is our most valued tool for dealing with the world, life...reality.
Over time, one becomes aware of awareness as something distinct from thoughts. And this awareness is silently perfect. It is elusive, yet always already present. It is noticed when one lets go of letting go.
Oh man, excellent question! It certainly is a thought when talking about it.
But not in the moment of it happening. When you suddenly realize that that which is aware is distinct from whatever it is aware of, there is clarity.
I wish I had the words to properly describe this. But any description is, as you say, another thought. Try this - when you notice a thought, what is noticing? When the thought fades and replaced by another, what (who) sees this?
This is not a question to be answered. It is to be noticed.
I really enjoyed this Don. I relate to your points in my own meditating. Helpful tips around noticing the body tense as I get that in my shoulders. I'll share a link to this in my newsletter on Sunday. Best wishes.
I sometimes use the technique (offered by Joseph Goldstein) of naming the thoughts or emotions as I observe them arising. Wanting, thinking, planning, itchy nose, sadness, thinking, etc. it sometimes helps me to observe them and remain a small distance from them, not trying to get rid of them, but just noticing them. Or I’ll say busy mind, busy mind. And often, that in and of itself gives me a bit of a break from being consumed in the thought or feeling.
I don’t consider myself a Buddhist either, nor do I adhere to any organized spiritual group. I simply find that meditating once or twice a day helps me feel better. And to separate a bit from what could have previously been a spiral of pointless thinking.
I relate with what you say, Teyani, and I actually paused a bit as I wrote those lines about labeling thinking "thinking." When I first starting meditating I used to count my breaths, trying to see if I could make it to ten without another thought arising. These techniques in and of themselves aren't bad. They're helpful as long as one isn't misinterpreting the point of quieting one's mind. As long as one doesn't fixate on a goal of non-thinking and judge oneself for not being able to do it. It's a subtle line, isn't it?
Joseph Goldstein is one of my favorite mindfulness teachers!
I could very well be doing it wrong, as I’ve only been meditating a little over two years, and haven’t attended a sangha yet…. But when I was listening to techniques, it was either Joseph Goldstein or Sebene Selassie who said that it’s the second we notice the mind is wandering and we return to our focus point that is helpful.. that it trains us to observe more clearly…. noticing the mind thinking.. am I confused here?
You’re not confused at all,Teyani. Noticing is always always good! Observing without judging. Becoming more familiar with the workings of the mind.
I think Goldstein says that that moment when we realize we’ve been lost in thought is more important than achieving some goal of non thought, because that’s where we’re totally present and it’s also where we’re learning nonresistance to the flow of the mental processes and all that.
A single moment can be as important as an hour or a lifetime.
This very moment that I am writing to you; I’m standing in front of a window in my Airbnb in Tucson, looking out at the dark, listening to the traffic out on the road. I’m aware of my breath. I’m aware of the space I’m occupying. I’m aware of the quiet space that the traffic noise and the voices of my wife and her sister behind me are filling. This is a special moment only because I’ve stopped to be present to it. It’s a moment of meditation and I feel the value in it.
Thank you Don. You know what I think I really love about your writing???...I think it is the practical builder in you...no fuss, measure twice cut once, don't do it fancy if you can do it well...etc etc...you get the drift. Thank you, thank you. Ian. PS: I just heard Rupert Spira say recently..."enlightenment is overrated". Kind of fits some of what you say. Go well Don. Love and Blessings to you. Ian
Ah, thank you, Ian. I would say that you both GET me and know how to make me feel good lol. Thank you!! 🙏😊
This has helped me to realize that having thoughts during meditation does not mean I have failed in my meditation. I just have to not take myself so seriously. The mind thinks. That's what it does. Big deal. Thank you for posting this, Don. Have a great day!
That’s it exactly, Lauren! That’s probably the biggest problem; taking ourselves too seriously! 🙏😊
Thank you for this Don. I intend on making meditation a practice and habit in 2025. I always felt like a failure when sitting. Because of that monkey mind madness. Even though, rationally, I knew that, well - our minds ARE full, and they call it mindFULLness after all. So how can this be wrong?
These words of yours comforted me: "We must rid ourselves of the belief that we can and must stop thinking in order to be good meditators."
I appreciate your light approach to sitting.
Thank you so much for your comment, Allison. It's an honor and a privilege to be able to provide someone with a little bit of comfort and I'm very grateful to you for sharing your thoughts with me. I wish you the best! 🙏💚
Hi Allison. I hope your meditation practice is going well. I like your comment about failing when sitting. Keep in mind, the sitting itself can be the meditation. Like when you see a park bench and you sit. The point .. is to sit. 🙏🏻🥰🌈
Heather, I needed this today. The
reassurance that the sitting is the special sauce. To sit and stay a bit. Sometimes that’s enough.
Thank you 🙏🏼
An excellent text about meditation that I can personally relate to. What helped me the most was realizing that the anxiety and boredom from sitting too long are actually perfectly okay—they’re part of the package we call life. After some time, I naturally stopped thinking about when the bell would ring, and now, when I meditate, it often catches me by surprise. :)
Nice! Thanks, Davor. 🙏💚
You’re welcome, Don!;)
This is such a needed post Don with great insights. I have found it extremely difficult and painstaking to sit cross legged for minutes on end. Movement meditation has saved my inner life. All the self awareness benefits I attain from meditating while running are absolutely essential to my well being. Your suggestions are so right on. Thanks for this Don.
I once hurt my back pretty severely from holding the meditation position too rigidly. It took weeks to heal and made me not want to do an all-day silent retreat ever again! That, I think, is what happens when you swallow concepts and ideas whole and then don’t listen to yourself and your own body!
Nowadays, I’m reading less mindfulness literature and just trying to be with and listen to my own consciousness of self and of reality!
I really appreciate you checking in, Steve. Happy holidays!
Don, as usual, I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s all about the experience and what that experience is doing with you. Crossing the point of thought to action is difficult at times but truly remarkable when it happens. Still in Hawaii so checking in is spotty😉
Thank you, Steve. Didn’t realize you were in Hawaii. Hope you’re having a great time! I’m on vacation in Tucson. Last day today.
Happy New Year!
Hope you’re enjoyed your time in Tucson…that’s a big change from Cape Cod. Happy New Year to you, too!
A fantastic set of tips.
Your method of “laughing at the monkey mind” rather than resisting it is such a refreshing take.
Humor seems like an underrated tool in spiritual practice—it lightens the seriousness we often attach to self-improvement. Could humor itself be a form of mindfulness?
It feels like a way to defuse tension, making space for compassion and curiosity. Have you found that this lighthearted approach extends beyond meditation, perhaps helping you reframe challenges in everyday life with a sense of playfulness?
I always find such interesting things to consider when reading your essays. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
I absolutely think humor could and should be a form of mindfulness. In fact, I wonder if awakening to the true illusion of self could bring everyone to tears of laughter!
Thanks for your great comments and time, Alexander! 🙏💚
Yes! I so agree. I think humor, because there is often a shade of truth, can be an interesting approach to mindfulness and awakening.
Great article Don. I just wish more people understood the health benefits reaped from regular meditation. Mostly I’ve found a division between people who meditate and those who do not (and are dismissive of it for whatever reason).
Thanks, Grace. I actually know a guy who practices Buddhist meditation and is judgmental of those who don't! So, I guess it goes both ways.
Thanks for your comment. I hope you're having a nice holiday season! 🙏💚
Thank you for the insightful article. Really helpful. If you don’t mind sharing, I am curious about the timing of your meditation sessions. Do you prefer evening meditation to morning meditation, or does evening just work better with your schedule? Do you meditate just before bed? I’ve been trying to build my meditation practice in the morning, and have been struggling with consistency. Thanks.
I'm happy to share, and thank you for reading and commenting!
I do not think nighttime is better for meditation than morning. Morning has some great benefits; mainly that it's a great way to start the day! But I, like you, have had a hard time making a consistent practice of a morning session. The day's duties call to me and it's harder to discipline myself to go upstairs and sit quietly. I find that I am just more relaxed in the evening, and able to give myself over to the time more easily and consistently. And that is more important, so I just don't worry about it, and meditate at night.
I have fallen into a routine of meditating at about 8:30 PM. It's a good, available time for me. Meditation is good, it's important to me, and it's made my life so much better. How I fit it into my schedule is less important. Whatever works!
I hope this helps! 🙏😊
Thank you for the response. Much appreciated.
Any time! 😊
Love this simple explaination of your practice. Its fun when you get to the point of restlessness, acknowledge it, but dont open your eyes, because well ... you still have 10 minutes left. 🙏🏻🥰🌈
Thanks, Heather, and thank you for commenting to another reader. I really love and appreciate when my readers converse with one another! 🙏💚
interesting reading - perhaps meditation helps to silence those seemingly endless thoughts that run in the background of your mind
Thanks, Karen! 🙏💚
I’ve recently been able to meditate almost everyday, a practice I’ve been trying to implement for many many years. Reading your words I just realised that when I pay attention to what I am feeling, I tend to focus on the physical aspects, like an itch or a pain, and try to ignore/surpass the other layer of feelings - emotions like impatience or anxiety. I find it takes effort to focus on that layer, but maybe I could be more mindful of it instead of trying to label it…
As for thoughts, I tend to see the observation of the monkey mind as a form of training the mind - which in itself is a goal. Should I let go of that goal?, is what I’m thinking now…
Thanks, Sara. When you talk about "observing the monkey mind" and "training the mind" I think what you're talking about is understanding. Understanding the mind, how it works, how and when thoughts arise and what that leads to, understanding how calming "runaway" thoughts can be relaxing and also open up some space for new understandings (insights). Is that correct? If so, I wholeheartedly agree with your goal. I am all about understanding! Other words for increased understanding are maturity, emotional maturity, and awakening.
I think that you can't actually "observe thoughts." The exact moment you think, "I'm thinking," THAT is your new thought. The technique is helpful though, because it puts you back in the present moment. And there is something peaceful and wondrous about the present moment that thoughts of the past and future don't have.
I love being present to the here and now because it has a way of reducing my anxiety and fear. It's calming and gives me a new perspective on life; one in which I realize that it is actually ALWAYS now, and the only time I feel that life sucks is when I'm THINKING about the past or future, not when those two concepts are upon me. When the future that I worry about is the present that I'm living, it's never as bad as I feared. So, it makes sense to put my focus on this, on what is, here and now.
I hope this helps, and thanks for reading and commenting! 🙏💚
«The exact moment you think, "I'm thinking," THAT is your new thought.» This is so true, and maybe understanding is a better word for it, if done with compassion and acceptance instead of judgement.
Very practical insight,Don! I appreciate it. I think Meditation, like other tools can be over spiritualized or elevated until they become almost unobtainable status symbols and certainly not all that helpful. I like what you do here thank you. As you well know,, a tool can be used many different ways to accomplish the same thing !🙏
Thanks, Wayne. That’s very true!
Hope you have a happy new year, my friend!
Thanks! And to you 🙏❤️
Love the way you teach, Don, and how you make it all seem so accessible. Thank you, friend.
Thank you, Elizabeth. 🙏💚
Superb, Don!! Hopefully, someone new to meditation will read your fine post and take in its lessons.
Letting of letting go is the challenge and can only happen naturally. It's similar to wanting to stop wanting. These contradictory states are barriers to the simplicity of meditation. In fact, I no longer "meditate." I just sit quietly, come what may.
I'm glad you pointed out the error of the "thoughts are bad" idea. Thinking correctly is our most valued tool for dealing with the world, life...reality.
Over time, one becomes aware of awareness as something distinct from thoughts. And this awareness is silently perfect. It is elusive, yet always already present. It is noticed when one lets go of letting go.
Thanks, Eric, I appreciate you!
I just have one question. Isn't being "aware of awareness" another thought? :-)
Oh man, excellent question! It certainly is a thought when talking about it.
But not in the moment of it happening. When you suddenly realize that that which is aware is distinct from whatever it is aware of, there is clarity.
I wish I had the words to properly describe this. But any description is, as you say, another thought. Try this - when you notice a thought, what is noticing? When the thought fades and replaced by another, what (who) sees this?
This is not a question to be answered. It is to be noticed.
I really enjoyed this Don. I relate to your points in my own meditating. Helpful tips around noticing the body tense as I get that in my shoulders. I'll share a link to this in my newsletter on Sunday. Best wishes.
Thank you, JFT! 😊
I enjoyed this reflection Don. Thanks.
I sometimes use the technique (offered by Joseph Goldstein) of naming the thoughts or emotions as I observe them arising. Wanting, thinking, planning, itchy nose, sadness, thinking, etc. it sometimes helps me to observe them and remain a small distance from them, not trying to get rid of them, but just noticing them. Or I’ll say busy mind, busy mind. And often, that in and of itself gives me a bit of a break from being consumed in the thought or feeling.
I don’t consider myself a Buddhist either, nor do I adhere to any organized spiritual group. I simply find that meditating once or twice a day helps me feel better. And to separate a bit from what could have previously been a spiral of pointless thinking.
I relate with what you say, Teyani, and I actually paused a bit as I wrote those lines about labeling thinking "thinking." When I first starting meditating I used to count my breaths, trying to see if I could make it to ten without another thought arising. These techniques in and of themselves aren't bad. They're helpful as long as one isn't misinterpreting the point of quieting one's mind. As long as one doesn't fixate on a goal of non-thinking and judge oneself for not being able to do it. It's a subtle line, isn't it?
Joseph Goldstein is one of my favorite mindfulness teachers!
Thanks, Teyani!
OH SO subtle!
I could very well be doing it wrong, as I’ve only been meditating a little over two years, and haven’t attended a sangha yet…. But when I was listening to techniques, it was either Joseph Goldstein or Sebene Selassie who said that it’s the second we notice the mind is wandering and we return to our focus point that is helpful.. that it trains us to observe more clearly…. noticing the mind thinking.. am I confused here?
You’re not confused at all,Teyani. Noticing is always always good! Observing without judging. Becoming more familiar with the workings of the mind.
I think Goldstein says that that moment when we realize we’ve been lost in thought is more important than achieving some goal of non thought, because that’s where we’re totally present and it’s also where we’re learning nonresistance to the flow of the mental processes and all that.
A single moment can be as important as an hour or a lifetime.
This very moment that I am writing to you; I’m standing in front of a window in my Airbnb in Tucson, looking out at the dark, listening to the traffic out on the road. I’m aware of my breath. I’m aware of the space I’m occupying. I’m aware of the quiet space that the traffic noise and the voices of my wife and her sister behind me are filling. This is a special moment only because I’ve stopped to be present to it. It’s a moment of meditation and I feel the value in it.